Pull Me Out of the Water
by bearhuggemm
Summary: After Eclipse, Jacob takes off. No one knows where he is. Bella is devastated, but must be strong for those around her. Missing persons signs hang from every street lamp. The wedding is getting closer. Both Bella and Jacob must face the truth Jacob
1. Chapter 1: Gone

Guilt swarmed through his head. Pain welled up inside his chest as he heaved the contents of his three previous meals, out onto the dark and wet sidewalk. He couldn't feel his limbs anymore. He couldn't feel anything. All that he had known was gone now and there was no way to get it back. The space that was left could not be filled and would remain empty until his lonely body gave in and died.

At this moment he wish he could do just that. He wanted to fall to the ground and stop breathing. He wanted all the pain to go away. He wanted the voices in his mind to shut up and leave him alone. Everything hurt. His body felt as though it was on fire and turning slowly to ash. There was nothing he could do about it.

He stumbled back into his one room flat and fell loudly to the floor. He hadn't cleaned, clothing was piled everywhere around him. There was reeking food in the fridge that he refused to throw out. The sheets were thrown off the bed, crumpled and dirty on the floor. The heavy, black curtains had been drawn over the windows, so that he could have an artificial night. He didn't want to go outside but he didn't want to stay in this room. Instead his mind wanders to the most difficult place for him to go. Home.

He can't think about that place without dragging himself farther into the black hole he has created with his life. Everything in that place reminds him. Everything had been touched and affected someway by the one person he cant think about. His house, the beach, the cliffs, his family, the trees, the roads, the garage, the bikes, his car, the pack, everything. She had been a part of all of it. They had been a part of all of it, but never again.

This is when the tears started. His eyes were red and swollen from the constant flowing watercourse that emerged from his eyes. Looking beaten and bruised, the circles under his lids grow darker everyday. His hair fell in his face now. He hadn't cut it in god knows when. His appearance falters. He imagines how scary he must look to the people around him. The ones he sees when he finally immerges from his room look at him with suspicion and horror. Is he a murder? A criminal? Does he ever bathe? How can he continue living like this?

He doesn't know.

He doesn't pay for his room. The landlord is too scared to ask for rent. His size is scary but his unmanageable facial features are enough to frighten the toughest of people.

He doesn't have money and he doesn't work.

His life has turned into a meaningless set of days. Time passes with no effect on him. He does not count the days. He doesn't know the current day, nor does he wish to know. He will sit in this room until his hunger becomes unbearable and then he will leave for food.

When he phases, there is no one to mumble thoughts into his head. They are too far away to speak to him, but they must know that he is there. They have chosen to leave him alone and he is grateful. His mind stays silent although he is swimming with emotion as he runs. He finds prey weak enough to take down and feasts. There is no need to put up a fight. His body was built for strength, but he has no will to use that power. He has no will to continue living with his gift, but at the moment, it is the only thing keeping him alive.

When he returns back to his fortress of a residence, he lets his mind wander. It is late in the evening and he is all alone. Once again he lets his thoughts drift to happier places he can no longer imagine achieving. He sees himself as a lost cause. No happiness can come to him as long as he has chosen this path. He chose not to sit and wait. He chose to run.

A year ago, he would have been hopeful and eager to continue his life, but not now. He used to have goals and dreams and wishes. He used to think about the future and smile at what it would bring. He would think about all the things he could have and he was hopeful. He used to be a naïve teenage boy, who thought that if you fought hard enough, that you would get what you want. He was wrong.

He had fought. He had used every last trick he had in the book to advance his chances at a happily ever after. He had spent every waking second vying for his chance, which sadly he never got. He would never be able to beat his opponent; someone who did not deserve to get his wishes and most certainly did not deserve to get a second change, when he himself had received none. His life that once revolved around winning the game, had turned against him. He was never going to get what he wanted and he accepted that.

He accepted long ago, that this life he imagined, was not in the cards for him. Fate would not play out the way he wanted it to. He would not get the one thing he wanted more than anything in the world. Even more than he wanted his own life. Her.

She was the reason that he had kept living all this time. He wanted to end his life, to no longer live without her, but he couldn't do it. As many times as he had given up, the same force always took him out of it. Her angelic face would wake him from the deepest trance he was in. She could pull him out of the hole he was in and bring him to his senses. But this feeling did not last for long, because he would falter soon after her image had left him. He would remember that she had not chosen him, and that he was alone.

She would be sitting in a large house on the edge of the forest, in the arms of another man, clutching a diamond engagement ring. He knew that this ring had been the final straw for him. He knew that as soon as that unholy ring was placed on the fourth finger of her left hand, that nothing would be that same again. Every chance that he thought he still had, had vanished. There was no hope for him after that. She had made her choice. There was no going back.

She had tried to tell him calmly that she had made her decision. He hadn't wanted to listen. She explained how important he was to her and he told her that he was giving her up. He couldn't wait in the wings anymore, like he had promised. He couldn't stand by and watch her slowly disappear. Her decision had ripped his heart to shreds, leaving no room left for apologies. Everything she had said that day was a repeat for him. She had said those words before. Her goodbyes meant nothing to him. Her 'I love you' was empty.

He was empty.

That is why he left.

That is why he is gone.


	2. Chapter 2: The Place Card

Alice flutters around playing with the sample flower pieces. She runs her fingers along the petals and sniffs each one. They are white and simple. Orchids.

On the table there are centerpieces, place cards, stationary, ribbons and glitter. They all follow the color palette that she picked. White and gold. Classic. Beautiful. She smiles at her work so far. The plans are coming together beautifully. Everything has been ordered and arranged. The last thing to do is seat the guests. With two days remaining, her time is running low. It helps that she doesn't sleep and can make arrangements at all hours.

Bella sits at the opposite end of the table twirling the ring on her finger. She cocks her head to the side and sighs. Her hot breath is expelled and she shoves her left hand into her jacket pocket.

"Bella are you even paying attention?"

"Huh? What? Oh, sorry." Alice frowns at her disapprovingly. "I will pay more attention, I promise" Alice believes her. No one intentionally stops listening.

"Ok, one last time, I put our Denali family at table six, your family at table four along with Seth, Sue and Billy. The whole Forks bundle is seated to the left at table three. Our immediate family will be at the wedding party table adjacent to your single table with Edward. What I cant figure out, is where to put the rest of the assorted guests. What do you think Bella?"

"Assorted guests? Alice is that really necessary?"

"Of coarse. I already sent out the invites and everyone has confirmed. This is your day, Bella. We all just want to be a part of it." She crossed the room to sit at her side.

"Ok, well how about you just mix and match. People will move around anyways"

"They most certainly will not. I did not spend all the time on these place cards so that people could opt on carnival seating." She huffed, defeated and aggravated. Humans could be so fickle, always changing their minds. "I suppose I will figure that out once I get a more clear idea about the future."

"How is the seating coming along? Need any help?" Esme offers from the doorway.

"Why, yes. Bella and I need to sort these out." Alice points to a large box on the floor. "They need to be folded as well, then tied with the sparkly ribbon"

They start on unpacking the place cards from the box. Bella is especially careful not to slide her finger across the paper too hard. Blood is a sensitive subject in this house as she remembers from her birthday. Another paper cut would certainly lead to disaster. It would be managable now because Jasper is not home. The boys went to hunt for the last time before the wedding.

Nearly one hundred cards are taken from the box, then folded and tied with a ribbon. The names seem endless as Bella runs through them. She doesn't know the majority of the assorted guests, as well as the Cullen's distant relatives. She sees how the cards stack up before her. She imagines standing in front of them and feeling faint. Her stage presence was never great. The fear of crowds combined with all eyes on her, makes her nervous beyond compare. There were too many names and one too many cards. There was one name that screamed at her when she folded the card. It was an extra. A card that was not required because the name associated would not be attending. Bella grabbed it and shoved it into her pocket, then stood from her chair.

"Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom" Alice nods and Bella continues. She shouldn't need approval, but she feels Alice watches her too carefully these days.

When she gets to the bathroom, she pulls the door closed behind her. The card feels heavy in her pocket. It weighs her down and fills her with burden. The sharp stabbing feeling in her chest, she has been ignoring, returns. The empty feeling she has starts to take over her body. Tears begin to stream down her face and chest. Her vision is getting blurred as the tears cover her lenses. She lets her knees buckle underneath her and she slides to the floor.

She pulls the card from her pocket. 'Jacob Black' it reads. The pain wells up in her chest and spills over. She is sobbing uncontrollably now. Her chest is convulsing as she tries to take in breaths. She cant move anymore. Her body feels numb and cold. She just sits against the tile and lets the tears fall. She has stopped holding back the emotion she feels. She has tried to be strong for Charlie and Billy, to put on a smile for the Cullens, but she cant hold it in anymore.

Her best friend is gone. He left her here and doesn't wish to see her. He didn't even say goodbye. It hadn't hit her until now. When she sees the card in her hand, she feels the void. The place card represents a seat at the reception, a seat that should be filled, but isn't. She is the reason that this card useless. She had driven him out of her life and now she had to suffer for it.

She has to cry out all the feelings she has for him. She has to snap out this. She can't be crying in her fiancee's bathroom, over another guy. She should be thinking of Edward and wedding dresses. Instead, she thinks about the Rabbit and warm soda cans. She tells herself that she should feel this way, she should feel like crap. This is her punishment. She will take it willingly.

Alice knocked gently on the door. She had heard Bella's breakdown. Esme was at her side.

"Bella? May I come in?" Esme peered in from behind the door. Bella didnt answer. She was laying on the floor now, her head buried in her hands. Her hair sprawled out around her. Alice reached a stone hand to open the door. When they see her on the floor, they rush to her side. Bella feels weak in Alice's strong arms as she is pulled into them and cradled like a baby.

"Bella, what is wrong?" Bella held up the card for Alice to read. Bella sniffled, holding back some unwanted snot. Alice wraps her arms tighter around Bella. "We hadn't gotten a reply from him before he left, so I ordered him a card anyways. He could always come back"

"He wont. He is never going to come back. I broke him, Alice. I am such a horrible person for putting him through everything. I used him...I didn't deserve a friend like him..."

"Bella, don't talk like that. You didn't do anything he wasn't already aware of. He knew how you felt about Edward and he was the one who chose to leave. You didn't drive anyone away."

"I feel like I did. I know the pack blames me for his disappearance and they should"

"They cant blame you for anything. He left on his own free will. He will come back, Bella."

"You cant know that"

"Yes I do. Bella, you cant keep beating yourself up about this. He will come back when he is ready to see you again. He needs his space and you have to give him that."

Esme comes to Bella's side now and rubs her back soothingly.

"Darling, you have had us very worried. You have been eating much less and you barely laugh anymore. This isnt healthy. You need to keep your chin up. Let everyone see your beautiful face. He will come back." Esme added sweetly. She brushed a strand of hair from Bella's forehead. "It is making Edward nervous to see you like this so close to your wedding day. He wont say anything, but I cant tell that he is concerned"

"I am so sorry that I have you all worried. I wish I could stop crying. I don't w ant to cause trouble, I just want Jacob back. I hate not knowing where he is or if he is ok... why wont he just call me? Its been six weeks, Alice!"

"I know. I wish I could see his future, then I could reassure you. Everything is going to be ok, you know that right?" She nodded weakly in response.

"I know. I love you both very much and I know that you will make sure everything works out"

"We cant wait until you join our family! We are so happy that you are here with us right now and we want to see you happy." Esme chimed. "Anything you need, we'll get it ok?" They were so generous. They had never had a human to spoil. She was the daughter, sister, and best friend that they had never had before and they were delighted to have her. She was happy to be with them too.

"I am happy. I love being here. I am so lucky to have you all. I don't think I could survive without you "

"Yet here you are crying. What can we do to make you happy Bella?"

"Nothing. You are all doing so much for me already. You have accepted me into your hearts" Alice smiled down at her. It was fun to have a little sister that she could do things for. "I promise I will stop moping around. I don't think it has all hit me yet. I will be fine by Saturday."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I just need a minute. Ill be downstairs soon."

"Ok sweetheart. Come down when you are ready" Esme kissed Bella on the forehead and left the room. Alice slowly let go of her.

"Bella, will you promise me something?"

"Mhmm" She was wiping the remaining tears from her cheeks.

"I need you to tell me if you are having second thoughts"

"Alice..."

"Promise me that you will come to me first"

"Ok, I promise."

" I want you to be happy. _We_ want you to be happy. Right now, I cant see your future and it scares me." She stared deeply into Bella's eyes, looking for any sign of doubt.

"Alice, I cant think straight. There is a lot going on. I promise I will talk to you first, ok?"

"Fine." She stood and was out the door in one swift motion. Bella just stared at the crumpled card in her hand. She was not going to let go of that card. She was not going to let go of him. She would find a way to see him again. She would join the Cullen family. She would have it all.

She wanted to mean those words. She wanted to believe with all her heart, that she could have those things. She needed to have faith that those things could be possible at the same time, but she couldn't. As she sat on the bathroom floor, she realized her mistake. She could never have both. One would always cancel out the other. Her life was one big choice. Get married, become a vampire and live forever in the arms of her one true love. Or she could talk to Alice, refuse the ring, and go home. She could wait for her best friend to come back, if he decided to, and she could stay alive.

What if he didn't come back? She couldn't wait forever. But if she didn't wait, then could she give up her life to be with Edward forever? Would she feel regret? Would she wish that she had made the other choice? Could she live with the guilt of breaking Jacob's heart?

Her mind was clouded. Her throat was dry. She crawled her way out of the bathroom and found the guest bedroom. She pulled herself up to the bed and settled down into the satin sheets. Her head hit the pillow and she was asleep.

Her dreams took her to First Beach and the driftwood log. At first she sits alone. She stares out at the waves. Then a warm arm encircles her as one tear falls down her cheek.

"I am here now, Bella. There is no need to cry" He is there with her. She is in his arms, safe. When the russet hand reaches her face, the touch is cold. This is not her Jacob. Her eyes flutter open and two gold eyes stare back at her. "I'm here Bella. I am sorry that I left you for so long. I needed to be safe for you. Why are you crying?" It was Edward.

Her dream world was gone. There was no beach, no log, and no Jacob. She was still in the Cullen house. In 36 hours she would be married.

She was glad that he woke her up. Any longer in the dream and she would be a lost cause. Edward pulled her face to his and kissed her lips tenderly. She made sure not to test his patience and laid back in bed.

"I am glad you're here. Its been a hard day."

"Alice told me how much you miss Jacob" She looked away from his eyes. Something didnt seem right about looking into his eyes while thinking about Jacob. He would never understand how much she missed him. It hurt her to say it, but she finally muttered

"Yes, I do."

She could not turn back on her promise now. She had agreed to marry Edward. She was going to join the Cullen family and become one of them. This was the choice that she had made. Now, she would have to live with it. She would continue with this plan. She was too involved now to go back on her word.


	3. Chapter 3: The Rescuers

The sun was streaming in through the window. He didn't remember leaving the curtains open. Actually he didn't remember much of anything from last night. His head hurt and there were spots in his vision. Hangover.

It was surprising that he could have a hangover. The alcohol usually wore off after an hour or so. His body heat would just burn it off. The most he could get was buzzed. Not last night.

He sat up. The bed was a wreck and his clothes were on the floor. He rubbed his eyes and tried to take in the surroundings. He grunted. He couldn't remember anything.

He stood from the bed and took a step. His foot tapped an empty bottle. Oh, that's what happened. It began to come back to him. The bar, the drinks, beers, and a bottle at home. He picked up the bottle and read the label. Hard liquor. It helped him forget, at least for the night. When he would wake up it would all come back and he would be the same.

The shower started and he stripped his dirty sweatpants. He let the hot water run over him and drown him in memories. He turned the knob to cold as he imagined the Washington rain. He thought back to the days he would spend with Bella. Riding motorcycles and running home from the beach. Laying in the living room with books sprawled on the floor, trying to do homework even though he could never focus. He could never focus around her.

He missed the days when he didn't have to worry about supernatural drama. Simple times before Edward had come back and before he had first phased. He wanted to be a normal teenager with a normal school crush. Why couldn't things be that way?

He turned the water off and got out, wrapping a towel around his waist. He looked in his mirror. He needed a haircut. His bangs were at his cheeks and the scruff on his chin was getting out of control.

There was a knock at the front door. He looked confused. He didn't know anybody and no one back home knew where he was. He stood there in his towel staring at the door. When he didn't answer it, the mystery person knocked for the third time. Then there was a voice.

"We know you are in there Jake. This is a peace offering. We don't want to have to break down the door…"

He knew the voice all too well. It was his best friend. Embry.

"Jake! Seriously! We did not travel all this way just to stare at your door. Open up!" His second best friend Quil yelled back.

How did they find him? He hadn't let anyone know where he was. The whole point of locking himself away in this god forsaken place, was so that his friends couldn't find him and yell at him for being an asshole. He hadn't realized how much he missed them until now.

"Step back, Embry. I've got this" Quil pushed his friend behind him and shoved one of his large legs at the door. A long bang sounded through the small room before the door collapsed. The two large and muscular boys strode through the empty doorway. Jacob was pissed off. He did not want to be found. He was ok at making the pain go away. He was able to make himself forget. Being here was good for him. Or so he had convinced himself. As much as he missed his friends, it was too painful to have them here. He thought too much of home and everything he had left.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?" He boomed angrily.

"We are here to beat some sense into you." Quil spoke.

"Oh, really? How the fuck did you find me?"

"We followed your scent. It took us a good two weeks to actually trace it here" Embry explained.

"Does anyone know that you're here?" Jake murmured.

"Just Sam. He wasn't happy at first, but he realized that it was time for you to come back. " Embry looked down at his shoes. He was holding back information.

"What?" Jake twinged.

"Look, Jake, you leaving was pretty messed up. I get why you did it, but it just screwed everyone over. You're a real asshole sometimes."

Jake snorted. No one cared if he had been there before. Why should they care now that he is gone? Sam was always complaining anyways, Billy couldn't give a damn if he was in the house, and Bella…well, Bella had made her choice.

"You need to go home, Jake. Sam isn't mad anymore, we just want you back." Quil pleaded.

"I cant come back with you guys. This is my home now."

"This is not a home, Jake. You're fooling yourself into thinking that you're better off. Hate to break this to you, but you aren't." Embry snapped back.

"And you look like shit. Honestly, when was the last time you shaved?" There was no sarcasm in Quils voice as he spoke. He was mad at Jake. It seemed like everyone was at this point. They couldn't help but be mad. He had left them all. They were hurt.

"I can't go back there." Jake's stubbornness reared its head again. Embry was about ready to crack. He had held his tongue for too long. He stomped his way over to Jake and got close to his face. He was yelling now.

"Do you have any idea what you put us through leaving like that? Billy barely leaves the house anymore. The pack isn't under control with you gone. Charlie is driving himself half insane sending out the search parties. And Bella…god, you don't even know. You can't just stand here and tell us that you can't go back. You owe us a little respect." Embry practically shouted. Jacob had never seen him with this much rage before. He was seeing this new side for the first time. "Clean yourself up. We are going home and you are coming with us."

"Embry, I cant! That's the part you don't understand. I can't face my dad or Sam… I can't see Bella again and say another goodbye. My heart can't take anymore."

"Jake, I get that you needed your space, but it's been long enough. You're driving yourself crazy here. You are not ok. We want to be here for you, but you are making this so hard, you keep refusing our help" Quil sat on the ghastly couch and put his head in his hands. The more sensitive side of Quil was finally coming out.

"Quil, I am sorry I didn't tell you where I was going, but I just needed to get out…"

"Bella's wedding is tomorrow. Were even planning on calling her?" Embry interrupted. Jake just stood there. Had that much time passed already? He was sure that the wedding would still be a few weeks out. Apparently not. "It means a lot to her. She would want you to be there" He didn't believe it. Bella had chosen against him. He knew that she would only be looking into the leech's eyes and not his. She wouldn't even notice that he wasn't there. She was most likely playing up the depressed thing. Even if he did go back, she would just turn away from him again, like she always did.

"Is that what this is about? You came all this way to find me, so that you could drag me to the wedding?" He was irritated now.

They were pushing his self-restraint."She has been driving herself crazy, not knowing where you were. You owe it to her to be there."

He was slipping. He didn't owe her anything. "I am not going to sit there and watch her marry that leech! She made her choice." He was hurting so much. The pain that he had kept inside for weeks was boiling out now. He was furious. He was not going to watch Bella marry someone else. He couldn't do that to himself. He wasn't as self-sacrificing as he used to be.

His body was shaking uncontrollably now. His chest was burning and he was slipping. Quil and Embry were at his side immediately.

"Jake, let us help you. We need to bring you back with us. You need to go home." Quil was stuttering. "You will regret it forever, if you don't come back with us. You're making a huge mistake. You need to go back."

Embry gripped Jakes shoulder firmly. In a matter of seconds the shaking had stopped.

"I can't face her," Jake whispered.

"We will be with you the whole way. You'll regret your choice, if you don't go and see her."

He simply nodded.

They were running faster then ever before. Jake was in the lead. Quil and Embry took flank so they could stop him if he suddenly changed his mind and turned around. It was a very real possibility.

Jake wasn't sure at what point he had agreed to go back home. One minute Embry was calling him out on the mistake he made and the next he was phasing. Although he was anticipating a heartbreaking homecoming, he kept running. He also couldn't help feeling thankful. His two best friends had not given up on him, even when he had given up on himself. They were loyal enough to track him down, a thousand miles from home. They had the courage to stand up to him, although he could easily take them out. They were not going to let him waste his life away.

_We got your back, Jake, no matter what. _Said Embry.

_Yeah. We will back you in any decision. _Quil nodded.

_Thanks, guys. Its good to know, especially now that we are going to see Sam. _Jake huffed.

_Don't worry about Sam just yet. Lets focus on getting you to the wedding on time._ Embry continued. _You'll know when we are in the home stretch. You should be able to hear the pack._

_Are they going to the wedding also? _Jake asked.

_We were all invited. Billy and Charlie are going to be there. Emily's going to support Bella and she is dragging Sam with her. Seth was personally invited by Edward. Believe it or not, Leah and Sue agreed to go with him. I think Jared and Paul are going to watch out for Seth, make sure he doesn't get too attached. _Embry barked a laugh.

_Wait, _Jake stopped in his tracks _I don't have anything to wear. I can't just show up naked._

Quil laughed at him. _We have a suit for you._

_Did you guys know I would come back with you?_

_No, we were just hoping you would. We know you're stubborn, Jake. If we didn't give you a little push, you wouldn't have come back. _

_You're right. But what if I get there and I start feeling everything I did before I left? What if I regret coming back with you? _Jake doubted himself. He didn't like being vulnerable. He hated the way Bella made him feel. He felt out of control. He was unable to be his normal, strong self around her. He knew that if he saw her walk down the aisle, he would want to run again.

_Don't worry about that. When you see her, you'll know you made the right choice. She misses you. She can't get married without her best friend by her side. It might hurt like hell, but think about what it will mean to her. _Embry knew how to make anyone feel guilty. But he was also good at helping with problems. He made a lot of sense. Jake knew he was right.

_All right. Let's go. _Jake nodded and began moving again.

_That a boy Jake! I knew the old you was in there somewhere. _Quil cheered.

They ran for hours. They had stamina and power. The trees were a blur as they passed them, turning into a sea of green. It wasn't long before they had reached the invisible line. This line said everything. It said that the pack could now hear everything. They could see his mind, his thoughts, and his memories. They knew where he was and how he was feeling. There were no secrets.

Here we go.


	4. Chapter 4: Not Her House

"Bella will you please stop moving. I can't get this last stitch in if you keep wiggling around."

"Sorry" Bella apologized. Alice was making the last minute adjustments to the wedding dress. She was turned away from the mirror, holding the skirt of the dress up while Alice weaved her fingers with the needle. Bella was squirming for more than one reason. Today was the wedding. Her wedding.

"Ok, I'm done." Alice pulled the remaining string. "You can put the skirt down now. I want to see the masterpiece"

Bella let go of the skirt, letting the silk slip fall over her skin. The lace and beading flowed in gentle waves over her legs. It flowed nicely down the back and would trail after her as she walked down the aisle.

"You look amazing, Bella. Edward is going to flip! Take a look at yourself" She turned Bella around to finally face the mirror. This would be the first time she would be seeing herself all day. Alice had begun her work early, setting her hair and doing her makeup. Alice had exfoliated, painted, brushed, curled, and smoothed out Bella, turning her into a dazzling pearl. Pearl was the closest adjective she could find to describe the pale, unvampiristic shade of her skin. Bella was hesitant to look at herself.

She was surprised when she turned around. She hadn't expected the reflection she saw. She found herself staring at a different person. Her face was flawless, smooth and creamy. Her eyes popped with dusty eye shadow and mascara. She looked curvy in the dress. It hugged her hips and chest, making them look more prominent. She looked beautiful.

She imagined that this is what she would look like after the change. She wouldn't have to wear makeup because her features would be beautiful like Edward or Rosalie. Of coarse she could never be as beautiful as Rosalie. Vampires were remarkably beautiful and they didn't even need to try. Bella wished for that kind of luxury.

"Ok, I need to go put on my dress and get the last of the arrangements ready. Charlie and Renee are here and they want to see you. Would you like me to send them in?"

"Yes please."

"Ok, will do. Can you handle yourself for a little while?"

"Alice, I will be fine"

"I can't have you splitting another seam. I don't think I will have time to fix it again" She sighed.

"It was an accident. You know how clumsy I am," Alice gave her a worried glance "I promise I will try not to be clumsy"

"I believe you." She kissed Bella's cheek. "You look beautiful"

"Thank you"

Alice was out of the room in an instant and Bella was left alone with her reflection. The butterflies were taking over her stomach. Actually, they were not butterflies, more like a six-headed dragon, snapping and breathing fire. Her nerves were getting the best of her.

Doubt and indecision were beginning to take over. When she looked in the mirror, she couldn't see herself. She saw what she had been made to look like. Of coarse she loved the way she looked but it was just not her. She was used to the pale and splotchy complexion she saw everyday. He got used to her hair being in comfortable and loose waves around her face, not done up in ringlets. This wasn't her. She looked down at her wrist. She wasn't wearing her bracelet. She never used to take it off. Somewhere along the way, she had taken it off. She shuffled around the room looking for her bag. She tore it apart looking for the charm bracelet, she so desperately needed. She found it at the bottom and collected it in her newly painted fingers.

Renee and Charlie came through the door. Renee stood with her hands on her hips and said

"My baby girl is getting married today!" She looked like she was close to hysterics.

Bella stood from her crouch by her bag. When she straightened out, they could see the one tear run down her cheek. She was clutching the bracelet in her hand and fumbling with the clasp. She couldn't get it on her wrist and it was making her agitated.

"Bella what's wrong?" Renee rushed to her side

"I can't get my bracelet on. I need to put it on…its too important not to wear today"

"Ok, baby, I'll put it on you, here," Renee took five seconds to secure the clasp. The bracelet hung on her wrist, dangling the diamond heart and the wood carved wolf. "Are you ok, sweetie?"

"I think I just need a second to think," She breathed in and out several times. Charlie made his way over to her and pulled her in for a hug. Hugs were not common in their relationship, but neither was crying. He was getting choked up and the wedding hadn't even started yet.

"Bells, I love you so much. I have never been more proud of you" He smiled and released her

"Thanks dad, I…" He cut her off.

"But if you are feeling any hesitation, you shouldn't go through with this. I only want you to be happy. I want to make sure you know what you are doing before you make a big decision like this." She nodded. "Alright, I am going to go find Billy. Let me know when it's time" Bella played with the bracelet charm "I miss him too, Bells."

"I wish he was here. I don't know if I can do this without him"

"You'll do what you know is right. Follow your heart"

"I love you dad" Bella leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. He left the two women in the room. Bella was tearing up again. Alice would be upset to find that Bella had ruined her makeup so quickly after she had gone.

"Think about it" She kissed her daughters forehead and left the room.

Once again Bella was alone. Thoughts were swimming in her mind. She wasn't crying anymore.

She looked down at the bracelet again and clutched the wolf charm. Her wolf, her Jacob. She couldn't let go no matter how hard she tried. Every time she thought he was out of her mind, he would pop up again. These last few weeks had been unbearable for her and she was finally admitting it. She had tried to be strong and put on a brave face. Underneath it all, she was breaking down. He was her best friend, in the whole wide world. He had left her and she had broken his heart.

This was the choice that she had made. She was with Edward now. She would start a life with him. In an hour, she would be his forever. There was no need to consider everything. Plans had already been made. She knew what was in store for her.

Her mind wandered to what her mom had said to her after her engagement, _there is so much time for you to get married and have a family…_

She couldn't have a family. She couldn't grow old. She couldn't watch her hair turn grey or her skin get wrinkled. She would have to leave her parents and her friends. Her friends would eventually get old and die, but she wouldn't be able to see them. She couldn't keep relationships going. Eventually people would notice that she wasn't getting any older. They would have to move, retake school, and live in a world of repetition. Was this what she had wanted when she had made her choice? No.

She wanted to grow up and go to college. She wanted one-time high school experiences. She wanted to keep in touch with her friends, as she grew older. She liked where she was and she didn't want to leave. She wanted bonfires with the pack. She wanted to see Jake again. She wanted to be able to cry and blush. Believe it or not, she wanted to trip and fall every once and a while.

As much as she loved Edward, she couldn't give up these things. She couldn't give up the life that she could have. She didn't know how it would work out or if she would get what she wants, but she was willing to try. She was willing to walk out of this house and give it all up for that chance. Maybe she was crazy.

As much as she loved the Cullens, she couldn't live their lifestyle. She didn't want to be spoiled. She hated gifts and being pampered. She didn't want nice things or unlimited spending accounts. She would never care about having fancy clothes or a fast car. She was just Bella. That life was not for her.

She had come to her revelation. Her epiphany had brought her to her feet. She grabbed her bag and quietly opened the door. There was no one in the hallway or downstairs. She assumed they would be outside in the terrace, finding their seats. They would be angry when they realized that the bride wasn't coming, but she couldn't turn back now.

She made her way down the stairs without tripping. Then she remembered what Alice had said. She promised to tell Alice if she needed to leave. Where was she? There was no way, Bella was going out in front of everyone to look for her. She would spoil everything. She couldn't face Edward just yet. He would be heartbroken. Maybe if she were lucky, Alice would break the news to him.

She got to the front door and opened it. She managed to pull herself through the door and outside before she started crying again.

"Alice?" She whispered. All she had to do was wait. She sat down on the porch steps and waited for Alice to come and yell at her.

Alice made her way around the house, silently slipping away from the guests. She heard Bella whisper her name. She knew what was coming. It made her sad and disappointed. She had wanted Bella as a sister, more than anything. She had wanted this for Edward too. She had seen such a remarkable change in him since he had been back with Bella. Right then, she made a promise to herself, that she would remain Bella's friend no matter what happened. Just because they couldn't be family, doesn't mean that they weren't going to be friends.

Alice got to the front of the house and her face showed every emotion she was feeling. When she saw Bella in tears, she rushed to her side. Bella was flushed from crying. Her eyes were puffy and her mascara was running. She was feeling very guilty.

"Alice, before you say anything, I just want to apologize for everything. I never wanted to hurt you or Edward. I love you both very much; I just can't go through with this. I can't give up all the things I have never had before… I need more time…" She was sobbing now. Her words were slurring and her speech was becoming less decipherable.

"I know, Bella. I saw you change your mind" There was nothing else she could say. "Things haven't been right for a while. There is no denying that."

"I don't know how I am going to tell all those people… and you spent all this time arranging this…I am so sorry, Alice, I will pay you back for everything, I promise…"

"Bella, stop apologizing. I will handle everything. I don't want you to feel guilty about being honest."

"So you aren't mad?"

"Of coarse not. I just want you to be happy"

"Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"Because we love you. I don't want you regretting the decision you make today. Edward will understand." Alice wiped the remaining tears from under Bella's eyes. "You can talk to him when you are ready."

"He wont want to talk to me…"

"Yes he will, Bella. He loves you and he wants the best for you"

"Are you sure? I would hate to lose him over this"

"You wont. You wont lose any of us. You'll always be family to us"

"Thanks Alice." Bella sighed.

"Go, Bella. I will take care of anything"

Alice walked Bella to her car. The same old, rusting truck was parked in the driveway. Bella jumped in the cab, pulling the train of her dress with her. The engine roared to life. She pulled around and made her way out of the trees back to the freeway. There was only one place she wanted to go.

She was on the road to La Push, before she could make a conscious thought to do so. She was in front of the shack like house before any time had passed. She sat in the cab and stared. The house seemed empty and cold. No one was home. Billy was at the wedding and Jake was gone. Even with no one inside, this was the place she felt the most safe.

She used her spare key that Billy had given her for emergencies. The lights were off and she stumbled through the door. Nothing had changed.

She didn't know what she was doing here or what she thought it would achieve. She merely collapsed on the couch and let herself go. When she sat in the familiar couch cushion, all her memories hit her. Her and Jake riding the motorcycles, coming here after the cliff diving, falling asleep here after a long movie night, and watching him work in the garage. She missed it. She missed him. She needed him back.

She didn't try and hold back the tears now. She was falling apart. There was no one to help her pick up the pieces. She made this happen. She had driven her best friend away and abandoned her wedding. Now she was sitting by herself, in her wedding dress, in an empty house that didn't belong to her.

By now, Alice would have told the guests to go home because there would be no wedding today. They would be mad at her. There would be rumors spread by the town. It was big enough gossip that Isabella Swan was marrying fresh out of high school. On top of that, everyone would want to know why she did it. They would start to call her. She didn't know how she would explain her decision to them. This thought alone made her nauseous.

She ran to the bathroom as fast as she could and threw up in the toilet. It was a good thing her hair was held back. She flushed and stood. She rinsed her face, washing the excess makeup off and looked at herself. She looked like normal Bella. She let her hair down as she went back to the couch.

She picked up her cell phone and dialed a friend.

"Hello?" A sweet voice answered.

"Emily, I need you."

"Bella? Thank goodness you are all right. Sam and I just left the Cullen's house. Where are you?"

"I am at Jake's. I thought I would feel better if I was here, but now I just feel more alone than ever"

"Ok, we will come and get you. I don't want you to be alone"

"Emily?"

"Yes?"

"Is he ever coming back?"

"I don't know, sweetie. I hope so. We will be there in ten minutes."


	5. Chapter 5: Took You Long Enough

When Emily walked in, Bella practically leaped into her arms. She felt safe there. Emily was a mother figure, big sister, and best friend all in one. She always knew what to say. Her skills with the pack were astonishing. She could calm the strongest tensions. There was no doubt that she could solve girl problems just as well.

"Thank you so much for coming Emily. I didn't know whom else to call. I don't have anyone else to turn to." She is sobbing now. Tears run down her cheeks, pulling her mascara with it.

"You can always call me, Bella. I am just glad you are ok. You sounded so horrible on the phone" Emily rubs Bella's back soothingly.

"I am. I left my wedding and all the guests. I didn't even tell Edward. I had to tell Alice instead because I am such a coward. People have started calling my phone but I don't have the guts to answer… what am I going to do Emily? I am falling apart here." Her sobs become more frequent as she takes in where she is. "And on top of all that, Jacob is still not here. I figured that he was mad at me, well, that's an understatement, he hates me, but I thought he might make an effort to come home. But nothing. He isn't here. And I feel like an idiot, standing in his living room in my wedding dress waiting for him. Its not like he is going to burst through these doors. I'm hopeless"  
Emily sighs. Bella is being too hard on herself.

"Bella, you mustn't say these things about yourself. You are being too harsh. Let's get you out of this dress and take you home"  
"NO!" She screams and Emily backs away. "I can't go home. My dad will ask too many questions. Even worse than that, he will rub it in my face that the marriage thing was a bad idea and how he was right about Edward. I can't take that. Please, don't make me go home" She pleaded.

"Bella, you should stay with us. We have a guest bedroom. I can call Charlie and ask him to let you spend the night." Sam spoke up. Until now, no one had really seen him come in. He had been in the corner, looking stern and observing the situation from the outside perspective.

"Um, thanks Sam. That would be really nice"  
Emily pulled Sam towards her and placed a kiss on his cheek. He smiles at her, radiating love. Bella looks away. She wasn't used to seeing Sam in a compassionate light. Maybe it took a psychotic runaway bride to bring out his sympathy.

"Let's get you out of here, Bella. You don't look so good" Sam gestures to Bella's growing look of nausea.

"Excuse me…" Bella mutters as she runs from the couch the bathroom to throw up, for the second time this afternoon. When she is done, she wipes her mouth and continues out the hallway. She stops when she gets to Jacob's bedroom door. It is shut and it doesn't look like anyone has tried to open it. Almost immediately, she is on the floor in tears, weeping for her best friend.

Earlier.

Jacob, Embry, and Quil just finished dressing at Quil's dingy home and are out the door again. They take a car this time, to avoid shredding or muddying their suits. They look very handsome. Especially Jacob, who just recently shaved off the mountain-man scruff he had been sporting.

They are afraid that they are going to miss the entire thing, but then the Cullen house is in view. The guest's cars are parked in the massive driveway. Quil pulls up behind a Jeep and they hop out. It reeks of vampires. A sickly sweet scent that burns the throat with every whiff.

The guests are a combination between vampires, humans, and now a couple of werewolves. They step through the open front doors and make their way across the house. There is a tent set up in the backyard to accommodate for the guests. The house itself is done up as well. There are ribbons strung around every column. Plenty of white flowers sit in glass vases on the tables. The tent is filled with tables and a dance floor to the right. The left side of the two-roomed tent is where the guests are all seated awaiting the arrival of the bride.

Quil, Embry, and Jacob find their way through the tent to the seating area. They receive stares from both the living and undead parties. Their size alone is enough to talk about, not to mention the sudden reappearance of Jacob Black. Seth makes a large hand motion to call the boys over. When they get close enough, he plows through Embry and Quil to catch Jacob in a vice grip

"We are so glad you are back!" Seth says with a little too much enthusiasm.

Leah is right behind him, wearing a dress no doubt. She looks pretty, girly, and very tan. He hair hangs in waves down to her waist. To any other boys, she would be attractive, but to them she is one of the dudes. Too bad. She was actually trying to look nice.

She bores her eyes into Jacob's. He does not wince as usual. Instead he stares right back. He is strong and will not back down from a challenge. After facing the things he did, there is no one who could intimidate him.

"What the hell are you doing here? You abandon us and then you just show up like nothing has changed…"

"Lets not ruin the evening, Leah. This is not about you or Jacob. This is about Bella. Now, sit down, all of you" Sue Clearwater's voice rings loud and clear. They obey. Leah agrees to continue their discussion later. Sue gives Jacob a large and friendly hug then returns to her seat.

Jacob sits with half of his pack. He can see Emily and Sam outside having a conversation with Dr. Cullen. He doesn't want to start anything yet. He will talk to Sam when this night is over; unless somehow he ends up in a worse place then he started. It is very possible. At the moment, he is trying his hardest not to phase and rip the damn tent to shreds. He doesn't want to be here, in this place, for this specific reason. He would come to this house for anything but this. He did not want to be here for the wedding. But he had made a promise. Until her heart stops beating. He would be there for her, even today, when pain kept him from moving. If it weren't for his two best friends yelling logic at him, he wouldn't have made it here. He came too far to ruin it all.

He stares at Sam through the open tent. Sam doesn't seem to notice Jacob sitting there. It is a good thing, too because if there were to be a misunderstanding as to why they were both there, then it could get ugly. He watches Sam negotiate with the doctor, holding his composure. Then the pixie comes up to them. She whispers in the doctor's ear and then he shares his news with Sam and Emily. Emily looks shocked and weary, Sam just looks the same as he always does, bored.

Jacob notices that the conversation that seemed harmless between the doctor and Sam turned into a dramatic piece of gossip. He would soon learn that the gossip would change him forever.

The tent is buzzing with conversation. Everyone is talking amongst themselves. There is no organization to the way people are sitting. The wedding should have started already, and people are tensing. The groom is not at the altar either. Where on earth is the wedding?

Jacob begins to feel the pit of his stomach rising. The horrible feeling that is associated with making a stupid decision. He knows that he had put himself in a bad place. He was setting himself up for heartbreak.

"Excuse me everyone." Alice sings into the microphone "I am afraid there is some bad news." Jacob's heart starts to beat frantically. What has happened? Bella? "There will not be a wedding today. I am sorry for the inconvenience. We appreciate you coming here to show your support, but no one is getting married today. You can all go home now" She clears her through as though upset and walks out of the tent. People begin to move in their separate directions. They pause as the stand up and spread more gossip about the infamous pre-wedding split.

Jacob is freaking out. His body is out of control even more so now. Quil tries to settle him down, but it isn't working. He is on fire, raging with unanswered questions. His heart wants to fly at the thought of Bella remaining unmarried, but then his conscience gets in the way. It tells him that something terrible has happened to Bella. Neither of them is around. What if the leech decided to get too close before the wedding and something went wrong? He would tear the prick's face off. He leaps from his seat and strides forcefully to Alice's side.

He grabs her arm and swings her towards him.

"What's going on?"

She hissed at him and jerks out of his grip. In an instant, she twitches her wrist and slaps him across the face. It makes a large cracking sound as the marble-like skin collides with his. It stings him a lot more than he would like.

"How dare you! You walk up to me after being gone for over a month and a half and demand to know what's going on? Who do you think you are? In case you haven't realized, this is your entire fault. Bella is gone because you drove her half insane worrying about her."

Her words begin to scratch Jacob's tough surface. He wasn't expecting that type of response. He opens his mouth to speak but all that comes out is "How?"

"You left without saying goodbye. She didn't know where you were. No one did. She started eating less and less. She wouldn't laugh normally. Her relationship with Edward got increasingly worse as the one you two had died out. You, Jacob Black, have no right to be bossing me around after I spent that time trying to help Bella"

"What do you mean she is gone?'

"I mean, she took off. She told me she couldn't go through with the wedding. She wanted a chance to live. I assumed those were your words." She made a face at him "She said she wasn't the same Bella without you, and she couldn't do it"

"Where is she?"

"Do you have any manners at all? You could say please and thank you. It's the least you can do for me. I did watch after Bella for you…"

"Fine! Can you please tell me where Bella is? I need to speak with her right away"

"Even if I did know where she is, I don't think you should talk to her just yet."

"And why the hell not?" He was aggravated now. His hands were shaking. Jasper eyes him from across the tent and sends out a calm vibe. Alice nods her thanks.

"She just made a huge decision that was not by any means easy for her. She went through a lot in the past couple weeks, having you gone and planning this wedding. I don't know if she can handle all of this in one day"

"I just need to see her, ok?"

"You don't need to ask my permission, dog. If you think that you will be able to make it up to her for leaving, then be my guest. I don't think it will be that easy. Decide for yourself."

He thinks about that for a second. He did hurt her and she had been through a lot. But, as her best friend, he couldn't stand by and watch her suffer because of him. He needed to fix everything. He wanted to tell her how he feels about her. He wants to tell her that he spent the last two months hating her. But he can't. Even as her best friend, he cant say those things to her.

Alice sighs and walks away.

Bella wouldn't move. Emily had driven her to their house, while she cried in her lap. She nearly threw a fit when they suggested that she change out of the dress. She said that she couldn't let go of it yet.

Emily had set her down in the guest bedroom with a spare change of clothes. Bella just sat there on the bed and stared at her feet. She watched her teardrops fall onto the carpet beneath her. They left grey circular patters from her eye shadow. She didn't know how long she was sitting there, but it seemed like forever.

There was a phone call, but she took no note of it. She had turned her own cell phone off after the thirteenth missed call. She didn't have the guts to speak to any of the disappointed guests. She didn't even have the guts to speak to Edward either. That would have to come later.

About ten minutes after the phone call, there was a loud bang on the door and then a slam. The racket took Bella out of her moping trance. She shuffled across the room and opened the door into a hallway. She listened to the dress swish as she walked to the end of the hallway that would open into the living room. When she gets there, she nearly collapses.

Standing there, perfectly dressed in a crisp suit is Jacob. Her Jacob. He doesn't make any advances to move closer to her, he merely takes in the sight of her with puffy eyes, in the most elegant wedding dress.

"Jake?" Her voice is shaky. She is unsure if she is dreaming or living a crazy soap opera. He nods. She runs quickly across the room as he takes one large step. She leaps into his embrace. His arms wrap their way around her body, enveloping her. He nuzzles his face in the crook of her neck and breathes

"I am here, Bells." He takes in her scent as she holds on tightly to his chest.

"It took you long enough" She whispers through sniffles.

He smiles. He has his Bells back.


	6. Chapter 6: We Dont Have To Talk About It

All the anger and hurt that Jake had felt only a moment earlier had suddenly disappeared. As much as he wanted to let Bella have a piece of his mind, there was no way he could speak right now. He was in heaven. There was nothing he wanted more, than to have Bella in his arms after all this time. These past months, he had tried to convince himself that he was better off, but he knew he never would be. He was nothing without her. He liked to think she was the same without him.

She had looked more beautiful than ever before. He would have loved to look at her longer, but he felt better once she was in his arms. Her hair had once been pinned up and stiff, but now it just hung in low waves. Her makeup had been washed off and her pale skin was gleaming. The dress that she was wearing hugged her body in ways none of her clothes did. It was strapless, hugging her chest and leaving the perfect amount of cleavage. It was tied in the back and flowed away from her, while in the front it dipped around her curves. She was stunning.

She was clutching at his chest, letting out small and weak sniffles. His suit was spotted with her tears. She peeled herself away from his arms for a second so that she could look up at him. Her deep brown eyes penetrating into his. They were filled with emotions, some that she couldn't fully express or explain. The only words that came out were

"I missed you so much" She looked down at her feet and bit her lip. The tears were returning to her eyes. He wanted to wipe them away, but he couldn't move. "I didn't think you were ever coming back." She said it bluntly.

Jake caught her eyes and they were filled with pain. His resembled hers, except his eyes were pure torture. He knew at that moment, that he was no better than the bloodsucker. He had left her. He had hurt her more than he wanted to. There was nothing he wanted more than to see her smile again. His previous thoughts of revenge and payback were fleeting. How could he have been so stupid? He couldn't live without her. He knew that now. He had told her that he couldn't be runner up and wait for her. He was wrong. Deep in his heart he knew that he would always love her. No matter whom she chose in the end, his heart could not love another. He was too far in to ever turn away from her.

"Bells, I will never leave you again. I promise" It was all he could say. She slowly returned to his chest and continued to cry. He pulled her up to be at eye level with him. Her eyes were red around and puffy. It killed him to see her like this. He turned her so that she could rest her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms under her butt and carried her to the guest bedroom.

"Jake, I'm sorry…" was all she said before she drifted off to sleep in his arms.

He put her in the guest bed. He took off her shoes but left her dress on. Emily walked to the door and placed some spare clothes in front of him. Bella could change into them when she woke up.

Jake leaned over the bed to brush a strand of waved chestnut hair from her face. He wound it behind her ear and placed a sweet kiss on her forehead. It took a lot of strength to pull away and leave the room. He didn't want to be away from her sweet scent ever again. He had her and he was never letting her out of his sight again. After living without for so long, he now knew just how much he needed her.

He went down the hall to the living room where everyone had now congregated. No one spoke a word. Jake had been giving a new confidence after seeing Bella and decided to confront Sam. He would not be happy, but this could not be escaped. He took a deep breath, savoring Bella's scent from a room away, and took a large step towards Sam.

"I know what I did was really shitty, but I…" The strong embrace of Sam cut off Jake. Sam was hugging him. This was a strange and awkward thing that never happened. He just went with it. He leaned in and wrapped his arms around his leader and friend. Sam spoke calmly and said

"We're glad you're back"

Jacob wasn't going to push his luck. He would accept the good graces Sam was giving him in this moment. If there was no need to yell or scorn, then he wasn't going to make it that way.

Emily came up to Jake next and gave him a family hug. She kissed him on the cheek and welcomed him home, saying that things weren't the same without him here. He hadn't realized how nice it was to be back home until he saw his pack in the small room. Jared and Paul had come through the door and came to shake Jake's hand. Seth gave him a large hug once more while Leah scowled from the corner. She huffed a little and then stepped forward.

"Since no one else has the guts to say it, I will. You screwed up big time. But, as much as I hate to admit it, I missed you" then she reached for him and gave him a hug. It wasn't as warm or inviting as the others he received, but he would take what he could get. She let go after a few seconds of awkwardness. "Don't expect this kind of treatment all the time, ok?" He nodded.

"Eventually, you are going to have to talk to Billy. He is going to be mad that you didn't stop home first" Sam spoke.

He was right. Jake should have said something to his father, but he didn't have the time. He was pushing it by trying to get the wedding on time. If he had stopped by the house he would have missed it for sure. Little did he know, that the bride was waiting for him there.

Emily made food as the boys crowded around the TV. There wasn't anything else to do with the day. All the vampires in town were close friends of the Cullens but posed no threat. The pack had been ready to sit and watch a wedding take place that they all objected to and now they had nothing to do.

Sam remained calm that evening. He sat off to the side with Emily by him. The pack passed around food and talked aimlessly about stupid teenage gossip. After the game was over, Sam headed for the door and a majority of the pack joined him.

"Jake, you coming? We are going out running" Jared called.

"Sure. Bella will be sleeping for a while anyways."

They left the small house, leaving Emily and the sleeping Bella to the quiet.

Bella's slept for nearly six hours before her dreams woke her with a sweat. She was still in her wedding dress unlike she had expected. Had the events of today really happened? Had she left her wedding and reunited with Jacob? She wanted to cry, but her eyes were swollen from all the crying she had done earlier.

She looked to the bedside table and found her cell phone. There were eleven missed calls. Great. She took the spare clothes that Emily had left for her and dropped the dress to the floor. She pulled the shorts and fleece over her body. She pulled the dress off the floor and laid it across the bed.

Her head hurt. She stumbled for the door and found her way to the kitchen. Emily was there, putting away the extra food from a few hours earlier. When she saw that there were no other people in the living room, she nearly collapsed. Had the memory of Jake holding her been part of her dream.

"They went for a run," Emily stated. She walked over from behind the counter and swept Bella into another hug. It was comforting and sweet.

"So he really is back?" She tried not to sound hurt, but she wasn't convincing.

"Yes, he is back" They stood there for a moment while Bella processed that.

Every night when she has wished that he could just come home and make her bad feelings go away. Now he could. She wanted him here and safe. She couldn't function without him in her life. There would always been an empty space without his presence. She constantly felt cold without his arms around her and she suddenly wanted them more than ever.

"Do you want something to eat?"

"No I think I am feeling a little sick"

"How about some medicine then?"

"Yes please."  
Emily knew when it was the wrong time to talk about something. Bella wasn't ready to talk about what she did. She wasn't ready to think about her future and especially not it involving Jake. Emily wouldn't pry, but would be there when she was needed. Bella was appreciative of that.

Her cell phone buzzed on the counter in front of her. She didn't look at the number; she simply turned it on silent for the millionth time. She couldn't speak to anyone. Then she thought of Charlie. Oh no. She hadn't told him where she was going. He must have been alerted by Alice, but he would be hurt that she hadn't taken time to do so herself.

"Crap. I didn't call Charlie. He is probably freaking out right now"  
"Don't worry Bella, I called him for you. He said that you could stay here if you felt more comfortable, but I can drive you home if you would like"

"That would be nice. I have missed my own bed"

There was a rustle outside the door and then two dissolved werewolves came through. Sam was first with Jacob in tow. They had both been wearing suits, that were now sloppily put on and practically falling off. Bella caught Jake as he looked up. He was dripping sweat from his brow, his shirt was half buttoned and the tie was slung around his neck. Even in her memories, his image was never as good as right now. The expression 'you don't know what you have until it's gone' was ringing in her ears. How had she never noticed how truly amazing Jacob looked?

Their eyes met. Jake couldn't help but stare at her. She looked magnificent, fresh out of bed. The color had returned to her cheeks and she looked somewhat happy. She rose from her chair and they met in the middle. They stood and looked into each other's eyes for a few moments. They weren't just looking, they were really seeing. They were feeling.

"Can you drive me home?" Bella said after a long silence

"Yeah" He said huskily back.

The drove in silence most of the way to Forks. They both had questions they wanted to ask. She wanted to know why he left, although she knew that she was the reason. He wanted to know why she didn't get married and he wished it was because of him.

Bella opened her mouth to speak when they were rounding the bend to her house. The lights from the windows shone up ahead. She knew if she didn't say something then their goodbye would be more awkward than necessary.

"Jake, I…"

"You don't need to talk about it. Not yet. When you are ready, then we can, but not now" He spoke calmly, with sincere love in his voice. He wanted Bella to feel comfortable talking to him and not pressured. He knew she felt obligated to talk.

"Thanks"

"Anytime, Bells"

She loved that he could sense what she needed. Edward could never do that. He would make decisions based on what he thought was best. Jake didn't even need to look at her to know what she was feeling. It was as if they were connected somehow.

The Rabbit slowed at the driveway. Jake pulled the keys and opened his door. Bella got out from her side when Jake opened the door for her. She was carrying her useless wedding dress in her hands. She stumbled out to the path that led to the door. Jake was following close behind her. She could feel his hot breath on her neck.

She whipped around, nearly colliding with him.

"Jake, is it ok if I come see you tomorrow?" He looked a little shocked. He wanted her around him always. She didn't need to ask to see him. He would spend all of his time with her if he could.

"I would love that"

"Great" She put her hand to his cheek and stroked it gently. "Don't ever leave like that again. I don't think I could handle it"

"Never again, Bells" He put his hand on top of hers and leaned into her palm.

"Good night Jake"

"Night Bells"

Bella went inside and climbed the stairs to her room. Jake waited outside her window until he saw her light turn off. He sat in the car and thought about the day. How could so much have happened? How could he have ever left in the first place? Especially when the girl of his dreams was right there all along? He would keep his promise until he died. He wouldn't ever leave her side again. She was his best friend and love of his life. He had no reason to be anywhere but here.


	7. Chapter 7: Sleep

Bella spent a sleepless night in her bed. There were too many thoughts running through her head and she couldn't focus. Charlie hadn't said much when she stumbled into the house that night. He simply nodded to her and hugged her before going to bed. He wasn't much for talking about feelings. She was glad for this. She wasn't ready to talk about it.

Renee had called her several times that day, leaving long and frantic messages on her cell. It was nearly midnight when Bella finally returned them. She had expected there to feel bad about it. Her mother was good at guilt-trips. Surprisingly, Renee had stayed calm. She said that she was happy that Bella had made up her mind. She offered to drop by in the morning to check up.

The whole night she tossed and turned. She wanted to do something. It felt like she was standing still while the whole world was moving at lighting speed. She felt slow. Now that Jake was back she wanted to be up and productive. Sitting in her bed and lying around was just the opposite. She knew now that Jake was back, that he had several responsibilities to take care of. She wanted to be selfish. She wanted him to spend all of his time with her. She had been deprived of his sun for so long, that she just needed to bask in it. She missed him so much when he was gone and now she needed him.

She got a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. She woke up to the crash of pans on the linoleum floors. Someone was cooking.

She plopped out of bed and slugged herself into a big sweatshirt. She trotted down the stairs to find Renee and Charlie in the kitchen making small talk. They stopped instantly when they heard her hit the bottom stair. Renee ran over and gave her a big hug.

"You look tired sweetheart. How are you doing?"

"I didn't get much sleep. I think I am supposed to feel like this."

"Don't start thinking like that. You made this choice for you. Don't let anyone's opinion get you down."

"Thanks mom, but I don't think I can handle the onslaught of phone calls. It's getting crazy. I can't face them"

"You will when you are ready." She patted down the severe bed hair, which was a result of tossing and turning all night. "Do you want some breakfast? Charlie made some eggs."

They both shot him a worried glance and laughed. Charlie was not the best cook in the world. In fact, Bella didn't know how he survived without her.

"Hey, now. I can make eggs. I am not completely reliant on her"

"I know that dad. They smell great" Bella smiled at her loving father. She was very appreciative that he didn't want to talk. He scooped up some eggs and put them down on a plate for her. He pulled some toast, nearly burnt, out of the toaster and put it in front of her. She plowed the eggs into her mouth after looking up at the clock. It wasn't nearly as early as she thought it would be. She could head over to Jakes house as soon as she was done.

"Well, I have to get going sweetie. Phil and I are going to be in town until tomorrow. If you need anything you just call me, ok?"

"Ok, thanks mom. I'm really sorry that you guys flew out here for nothing…."

"Don't apologize. We wanted to see you." She kissed her forehead and grabbed her purse. "Ill call you later. Love you"

"Love you" and she was out the door. Charlie stood looking awkward in the corner. Bella had finished her breakfast and was rinsing the plate off. She stood and leaned against the counter and waited for him to say something. He wasn't speaking or even looking at her.

She knew that Charlie had never been a big advocate for Edward. In most instances he tried to tell Bella that she was better off with someone else. He was always polite when speaking directly to him, but there was a tone. The tone that said 'you hurt my daughter and I swear I will bust a cap in your ass right here and now'. Every time she had come home with some news about Jake, he had been more than eager to hear it. He was always supportive of Jake. She saw it in his eyes, the look that meant family. He would imagine the day when the two childhood friends would get married and then he and Billy would be in-laws. He would never admit this, but there was just a look in his eye that said it all.

Now that Jake was back and safe, he should have been jumping with joy. He had been so worried and agitated when his search parties were coming up dry. But he wasn't. There was no way to accurately read his face. He was just passive. He stood there leaning in the doorway looking slightly agitated. Maybe he was tired from waiting for Jake. It could be that he felt disrespected. He had always been there for him and then he just gets up and leaves without telling anyone. It struck a nerve with him.

"Dad, I am going to go see Jake, are you ok here?"

"Bella, I know that we don't talk a lot but I want you to know that I am here for you. I know you are going through a rough patch right now, and I am glad that Jake is back, but if you need anything, I'm around."

He never opened up like this. His eyes were getting glassy; a tear was forming in the corner.

"Thanks dad."

"I am really proud of you, Bells. I don't think I tell you that enough. You are a really smart girl and I am glad that you didn't make a choice that was going to make you unhappy" She moved across the room and hugged him. When he had his moments, they were special.

Soon the moment was over. Charlie was out the door and in his squad car. Bella was up the stairs and in the shower. She washed off all of the previous day and let it all run down the drain.

She dressed in jeans and a short sleeve v-neck top. She pulled her favorite hoodie sweatshirt over her head, the one that Jake gave her, and she went out to her truck.

It took her 15 minutes to get to La Push. She was glad to be back in town for Jake. Her previous visits had been sad and filling with abandonment. Even before he left, her last visit had been heartbreaking. They had parted in the worst way. Both loving each other and knowing that it couldn't be. When he was gone she wanted to hate him for doing this to her, but now she couldn't.

She pulled up in front of the red house and walked to the front door. Billy was there before she could knock. The loud engine no doubt tipped him off, that she was there. He smiled at her and she bent down to hug him.

"Is he still asleep?"

"Yep. It would be shocking if he were awake before noon. Running all the way here took a lot out of him. Maybe you should let him sleep"

"I think I might. How are you doing Billy?" Bella wanted to make sure that the sudden reappearance of his son hadn't caused him too much trouble. He had been so hurt when Jake had left. She didn't come to visit at first. She was afraid that the pack had blamed her for his disappearance. Billy had been skeptical about her as well. After about two weeks, the anger towards Bella faded and they began to really miss him. She was surprised how gracious they were all being. The pack had treated her well even though Jake wasn't there and she was going to marry Edward.

"Fine I suppose. I'm just glad to have him back. It's been a long time, but it was good for him. He needed to get out for a while and be away from all this" Bella nodded. "I think he really couldn't handle the truth about you and Edward. He really loves you and it was hard for him to accept." Bella began to feel guilty again. She tried to keep her breathing steady "But he came back here to be supportive, so I think you should go easy on him for leaving."

"I am not mad at him. I practically pushed him away. I really wish things hadn't turned out the way they did, I know I hurt him"  
"If things hadn't turned out this way, then you wouldn't be standing here."

"That is very true. I am really glad I am here"

"You are always welcome, Bella. You are Charlie are family." He smiled his wise and elderly grin. "I have to head out, but you can stay here as long as you need"

"Thanks, Billy." He rolled himself out of the house and made his way to the car waiting outside.

Bella made her way across the hall and into the living room. She admired the homey feel of the room. It smelled old and worn it. The furniture was all homemade, hand crafted and carved. The rug was a beautiful tribal pattern. She looked at the photo on the mantelpiece. It was of her and Jake as kids.

In the picture, Jake and Bella were soaked from head to toe. They were holding up fishing lines with empty hooks. They were about 8 and 10 in the picture. Billy and Charlie had taken them out fishing. The kids had spent the whole time goofing off and had not caught anything. Still at the end of the day, they were smiling and laughing at their lack of fish.

She smiled at the photo. Things were so much simpler back then. They were great childhood friends when she would come to visit during the summers. Ever since she came back, things had been different. That childhood friendship was replaced with a more mature and sophisticated relationship. She lived for the days when the two of them would act like kids. Underneath all that muscle, Jake was still a goofy teenage boy. She loved the times when he could show that side of himself.

She drifted to his room. She knew that he would be sleeping, but she didn't care. He was sprawled out across the bed. It really was too small for him. His arms hung off the edge and the sheets were crumpled around him. She closed the door quietly and snuck beside him. She could see his face. He looked innocent and pure. He was the little kid that she longed to be with. He looked vulnerable and fragile when he slept.

She pulled up the covers on the far right side of the bed and climbed in. She didn't want to wake him; she just wanted to be next to him. She curled up at his side and pulled the covers over her legs. His window was open, letting in the foggy breeze.

She pulled herself closer to Jake and breathed in his woodsy scent. She could smell the Earth on him. Being in that close to his body, allowed her to be warmed. It felt great having him emanating warmth around her. She leaned back against his body to further surround herself in him and he stirred. He wasn't awake, but the sudden movement right next to him made him turn.

He made it onto his side so that he was facing Bella's back. He breathed her in and thought he was dreaming. The strawberries, melon, and freesia scent drew him in. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to his chest. He was not lucid, but he was in heaven.

She stilled. She was almost positive that he was asleep, but she couldn't be sure.

"Jake?" She whispered. He pulled her closer to him and breathed her in.

"Hmmm…Bella" he smiled and snored. She tried not to giggle. He was fast asleep now. She was trapped against his chest and she didn't care. She liked it. She wanted to make up for all the time they had apart. Soon her breathing was slowing and she was drifting away, clutched in her best friends arms.


	8. Chapter 8: You'll Be My Pillow

His mind was clear and serene. The scent of strawberries, freesia, and melon surrounded him. He was snuggling tightly with something soft and warm. His dreams were consumed with Bella. Thoughts of him holding her, kissing her, having her whisper his name into his ear. He wanted it all.

He turned his head to avoid the light coming through the window. He turned his cheek into a soft fluff of chestnut hair and hears a small sigh. _What the hell?_

"Bella?" He practically gasped.

"Hmmm?" She murmured into his chest. He looked down at the fragile angel in his arms. She was curled up against his chest; her hair sprawled around the pillow, while her arms were secure around his neck.

"What are you doing here?" He sounded shocked. Not that he minded having her there at all.

"Oh my gosh!" She sat up immediately when she realized what she was doing. She looked around her and then back at the clock. She had gotten there at quarter past eight and it was now almost noon. She rubbed her eyes and pushed her hair out of her eyes. "I'm sorry. I came to see you but you were sleeping so I crawled up next to you and I guess I must have fallen asleep…"

"Don't worry about it Bells, I was just surprised" He chuckled deep in his chest. She laughed along with him. "Why didn't you wake me? We could have done something. I hate to think that we wasted all that time sleeping"

"I couldn't wake you. You looked so peaceful" She smiled deep in thought.

"As much as I enjoyed the extra sleep, you really should have woken me up" He sighed and shook his head.

"What?"

"Nothing, really"  
"Seriously, Jake, tell me" She whined.

"You're just comfy to sleep next to" He smiled really big. He meant every word he said. She had been the best pillow he ever had. He could have laid there forever.

"Um, thanks. You too" She blushed a little bit, bringing a light rose color to her cheek. He loved it when she blushed. It was the prettiest thing her skin could do. He loved making her blush and watching her turn pink.

"So what do you want to do today?" He said sitting up and facing her. She creased her brow as she thought about the question. She didn't really have any idea of what she wanted to do besides be with him.

"I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it. I just wanted to spend the day with you, like we used to" He smiled his goofy grin at the comment. She _wanted_ to spend the day with him. How convenient. He _wanted_ to spend the day with her too.

"Ok, well then, we can hang around here today" He pulled her back down on the bed so that she was against his chest again. She put her head over his heart and listened to it beat. It sped up as she lowered her cheek against his bare skin.

They laid there in the bed for a while until Jake's stomach growled loudly. Bella giggled at him. He was hungry, as always. He hadn't been taking proper care of himself when he was alone. He would give anything to have a full home cooked meal right now. Lucky for him, Bella was feeling generous.

"Come on, I'll make you some breakfast" She pulled his hand and tried to lift him off the bed. She couldn't lift him herself, so he pulled himself up. She led him out of the room and down the hall to the kitchen, making herself right at home. She fixed an enormous amount, pulling supplies from the cupboards and fridge like she lived there. He just sat at the counter and watched her work while they talked aimlessly about nothing.

They munched on food and did the dishes together. He was starting to realize that she seemed a little too at home here. He needed to know why.

"Bells, how do you know this kitchen so well?"

"Uh, well, while you were…gone… I would come home and make food for Billy, do the dishes, stuff like that. I got used to where everything was."

"You didn't have to do that Bells. He can handle himself."

"I know. I guess I just felt more at home here than with Charlie. I wanted to be there for Billy, like you were there for me"

"Well, thanks for being there when I couldn't… I really shouldn't have put him through all that, or you for that matter"

"Jake, he is a strong guy. And don't apologize for something that is so obviously my fault. I was horrible to you and you had all the rights to run away"

"No, Bells, I really shouldn't have done that. It was immature and stupid. It just put everyone under a whole bunch of stress" He pulled his hands out of the soapy water and turned Bella to face him "I broke my promise to you and I will never be able to make up for it. Bella, I need to know that you can trust me again. It has been bothering me since I got back. I thought that you wouldn't want to see me and that I would lose you forever"

"Jake, how could you ever think that I would stop being your friend? I depend on you way too much for that ever to happen. You're stuck with me," She laughed. "I don't want all this drama to get in the way of our friendship. I want things to be as good as they were before things got complicated. Can we please just forget all this?"

"I want that too, but I have to know…" She was dreading the question that was he was going to ask, but he needed to know. Before he could move on, he needed to know why she couldn't get married.

"Jake, I just couldn't. I couldn't give up my life and my chance at a normal existence. I thought about Charlie and the pack and my friends. I freaked out. I couldn't give it all up. I couldn't stay put in time and watch everyone around me get old and die…"She was breathing hard now. It felt good to talk about it, but it was difficult to live with her decision knowing the Cullens were upset. Jake came up to her and wrapped his arms around her. She breathed in his scent as he breathed in hers. She was instantly safe where she was and she knew she could say her next thought "and I thought about you…and me." He looked down into her eyes, but they were closed. She was thinking back to her epiphany she had had about her and Jake together. "I thought about what you said about a relationship we could have had. I knew that you were right, that I could never have that with Edward, but you were gone." Tears were springing to her eyes. "You were gone and I missed you and I was wearing the bracelet and it all hit me. I couldn't do it; I couldn't go on without you. I knew you were happy and it was all my fault. Deep in my heart I knew that I wasn't happy either."

Jake was speechless. He didn't know how to answer Bella without sounding like he was hearing what he wanted. He loved knowing that he was part of her decision to leave Edward. But, at the same time he hated hearing all the reasons why she felt so insecure.

"Bella, I am so sorry" He pulled her into the biggest hug he could muster up. He wanted her to feel how he could be there for her.

"Jake, don't apologize. I keep dumping all my problems on you. I am the one who is sorry. I just bring this on myself." She sniffled a little then wiped the tears from her eyes. She was stronger now.

"Bella, you're a real trooper you know that. Anything you want to do today, you name it, and we'll do it."

"I miss hanging just hanging out it the garage"

"You got it. I have to do a tune up on the Rabbit anyways. It probably feels neglected after not being driven for this long." Jake ran to the bathroom to get her some tissues, and then helped dry her eyes.

They went out to the garage. Bella sat up in the Rabbit's front seat, while Jake grabbed the toolbox and slid underneath. He worked first by pulling out the wrenches and making adjustments to loose bolt. Next he stood up and worked under the hood. Bella talked to him from the inside of the car as he worked with his hands. Soon enough he was covered in grease. He felt at home. Back before he first phased, Bella used to come to the garage with him several times and week and they would just hang out. He missed those days. Now, although they had changed so much since then, they could still be those two teenagers.

"Are you hungry? I'm starved!" Bella laughed.

"Am I ever not hungry? I thought you knew me better than that" He laughed back.

"You're right, how silly of me. I am going to make some sandwiches. How many do you want? 30?"

"You're funny, Bells." He chuckled from under the hood. He tinkered with the engine.

"That's why you keep me around" She called from the door as she made her way into the house.

Jake continued to work on the engine, making sure it would run smoothly. He was changing the oil when he heard two familiar voices approaching the garage.

"Jake, you in here?" Quil called with Embry next to him. They both stepped inside and smiled. "Just like normal. Getting down and dirty with the car"  
"Its good to see you back in here Jake. It's been a while. How long has it been since you serviced the Rabbit?" Embry asked.

"Six months"

"Dang. Did you already check the gauges and make sure they are set right?"

"Yeah, they were off a little. I set them back. Can you hand me the bolts over there?"  
Embry went over to the crash cart and pulled out the four matching silver bolts. He handed them to Jake who went back to the engine and messed with some screws. Their Y chromosome kept the conversation about cars and engines going for close to ten minutes.

When Bella had made enough sandwiches to feed both of them and then some, she piled them on a tray and brought them out to the garage. She didn't see Quil and Embry in the corner, but they heard her. She placed the tray on the table off to the side and Quil snuck up behind her pulling her into into a big bear hug. Bella let out a yelp of surprise and Quil chuckled at her.

"Long time no see Bella. You kind of stopped coming around"

"Hey Quil!" she squeaked and hugged him back. "I'm sorry. I got kind of busy and stuff." Quil put her down on the ground and she ran to Embry and gave him an equally enthusiastic hug.

"Embry!"

"Hey, Bella. We missed you're cooking around here." She laughed in his chest.

"I'm sure. Every time I would drop food off for Billy, you guys would eat all of it before he could even take it out of the fridge" She nudged him in the shoulder.

"Yeah, sorry about that. You know how our appetites are… we wanted to say hi to you last night, but you were a little busy" He looked over at Jake. Quil raised an eyebrow.

"About that…"  
"You don't need to talk about it Bella. We get it. Glad we have you back now." Quil said.

"Ok, cool. How have you guys been?"  
"Well, you know…"

"Wait a second. When did you all become such good friends?" He asked baffled. Jake was confused. Quil and Embry had always liked Bella, but they didn't have a whole bunch of time to bond.

"Around the time you skipped town. Bella would drop off care packages for Billy and the pack, plus she helped Emily with some of the extra cooking" Embry added.

Jake looked down at his feet. He hadn't realized everyone had been together while he was gone. He looked over at Bella who was awkwardly looking away. He smiled at her. Even when she was in a terrible emotional wreck, she still managed to take care of everyone. He sent her a look of 'you shouldn't have done all that' and she understood.

"Oh. I didn't know."

"Whatever. So would you mind if we stole a few of those sandwiches?" Quil smirked.

"Sure, just leave one for me" Bella smiled.

The boys munched on the sandwiches and worked on the car. They talked incessantly about motors and fuel. Bella just sat off to the corner and watched. She enjoyed spending time with the boys, but she did feel a little left out. Jake noticed.

"Hey, Bells, you looked bored. What do you want to talk about?"

"Don't worry about me, I like hanging out with you guys I just wish I knew more about this stuff so I could keep up"

"Maybe I'll teach you some stuff, then you can be one of the dudes," He laughed.

"Lucky me" She shot back sarcastically.

"What if we the pack over? Get a bonfire going and pass around a couple beers?" Quil suggested.

"I don't think Bella's a drinker" Embry commented.

"Fine, no beer for Bella, but the guys all want to hang out, and Bella needs a welcome home party; well sort of. Come on, what do you say?" Quil sung.

"Sounds fun. Let's do it." Bella cheered, trying to make up for her lack of Y chromosome in the previous conversation. She knew that Jake needed to see the pack and that he would enjoy something like that. She wanted him to be happy. It wasn't really a homecoming for her. She had always been here. Jake was the one who was coming back, she was merely returning to the rez to be with her best friend. I guess it was kind of her homecoming. This is where she felt most at home.

Jake looked over at her. He was a little worried. Bella wasn't a drinker and she didn't enjoy parties. The pack could get a little rowdy. Why would Bella be into something like that? He had hoped they could just order a pizza and a movie, stay in for the night and catch up. It seems like they haven't had much time to themselves since he got back. He wanted a chance to tell her how he felt and she how she was currently feeling about the whole Edward situation.

Quil spoke again with double the enthusiasm. "It's settled then. Bonfire at the Black's. Embry call everybody. We're gonna have a party!"


	9. Chapter 9: New Connections

Quil had made all the calls. The pack was all coming over to the house around six in the evening. Jared was in charge of the alcohol, Bella would order the pizza, the girls were bringing the entertainment and Jake was providing the location of coarse.

Billy had left the house to join Charlie and Sue at the Clearwater's house for dinner. They would be out of the pack's hair for the evening. Billy had been very lenient up to this point in Jake's life. He knew as a member of the pack, that he would make responsible choices. Charlie was an entirely different story. He guarded his daughter like the newborn baby she was far from.

Bella had to talk Charlie into letting her be at the party. Even though she was legally an adult, she still felt the need to ask for his permission. She did live under his roof and therefore his rules. He trusted Jake up to a point, but it was his "rowdy friends" that were the source of the problem. He had inquired about drinking and other teenage activities that would be going on. After much huffing and puffing, he agreed to let her stay out until midnight.

It shouldn't have been this hard for a very responsible 18 year old to go to a party hosted by her childhood best friend. She did not think about the way Charlie factored in her recent behavior. He remembered back when Edward had left Bella, she had been depressed for months. When she finally came to her senses she started her friendship with Jacob and began to smile again; Charlie was quite happy about this. Of coarse Edward popped back up and ruined that new found friendship, all because of an attempt at suicide and 3 day trip to Italy. Before graduation she had agreed to marry Edward, after having reconnected with Jacob only to ruin that friendship and have him run off. Then as if that werent enough to get her professional help, she deserted her own wedding at the same time that Jake made his sudden reappearance. As a parent, he had a right to be concerned. Living among the mystical had its own disadvantages, he just didn't know it.

Quil bustled through the door with Embry, carrying armfuls of firewood. They trudged across the small living room to the back door. Once in the middle of the massive backyard, they dropped the wood in the big pit and went back for more. Quil's truck was full of it. Jake met them and started the fire. In minutes it was blazing, sending massive amounts of smoke into the clear night air. It wasn't dark out yet, but the sun had set and the temperature was dropping faster by the minute. The cloudless sky would make for a perfect bonfire.

Bella was in the kitchen filling up the non-alcoholic cooler. She raided all the cabinets and fridge to find the water bottles and juice drinks. She wouldn't be consuming any alcohol tonight, so she needed to have a selection of beverage options available to her.

Colin and Brady brought some snack food, chips and dip. They deposited them onto the counter and went on their way to the back. Bella had never properly met them since they were the newest editions to the pack. She assumed they were on the anti-Bella team that had been growing ever since Edward had returned, since they didnt say a word to her.

Jared and Paul made paid no notice to Bella as they walked to the backyard. They were definite advocates of the anti-Bella movement. Paul had hated her since the very beginning. He had felt betrayed by Jacob, who chose her over them. They never gave her the chance to feel welcome. She couldn't blame them, the others had been extremely understanding when it came to her past.

Sam and Emily showed up next. Emily paused to carry out some of the food from the counter to the back. She handed half to Sam who nodded at Bella. She was still grateful for his kindness these past few days. Emily stopped to hug Bella and offer her words of encouragement she desperately needed.

"Don't let them psych you out. They just need the chance to warm up to you. Don't take anything they say personally. We want you here and that is all that matters. Keep your chin up" She smiled. Bella thanked her immensely. Emily was a good shoulder to lean on. Her motherly nature was so comforting.

Seth and Leah were some of the last to show up. Seth smiled at her and took the cooler to the back.

"Thanks Seth. It helps to have all these strong people around. I feel weak not being able to lift this thing" she kicked the blue cooler next to her.

"Its all good, Bella. You're the human and I am the big, strong werewolf at your service" He saluted. Leah just snorted at him and kept walking. "Its good to see you" He smiled really big and went to join his sister. She was glad that he was on the pro-Bella team. She would have some sort of support team for this evening.

Just when she thought that all the guests had arrived, Kim showed up. She was chatting on her phone but waved to Bella in the kitchen. It was weird how at home she felt standing in Jacob's kitchen, welcoming the guests into the house. They didn't knock and let themselves in, but she still felt like a gracious host. It wasn't until the next guest walked in, that she started to feel less at home.

Jacob's older, bossy and beautiful sister walked in through the door and immediately spotted Bella standing, looking awkward.

"Bella Swan?" She called, squinting her eyes to get a better look at the all-grown-up Bella.

"Yeah, its me." Bella admired how beautiful Rachel had gotten. She always had the potential to be a truly spectacular woman, but they hadn't seen each other since puberty. Rachel had waist length, cascading black waves. Her skin was the perfectly smooth, flawless, russet brown skin she shared with the Jacob. She had the familiar pearl white grin as her brother but her lips were plump and a bright raspberry color. She was tall and thin, model like, and strutted like a superstar. Her eyes were piercing, underneath thick black lashes as she stared Bella down.

"I didn't expect to find you here" She sighed.

"I didn't expect to see you either. Aren't you supposed to be at college?"

"I am taking a break. Besides, I have decided to move back as soon as the term is over"

"Oh. I bet Billy is happy about that"

"Hah. Right. It was cool when only one of his kids wanted to be home, but now that Jake is back, I don't think he really wants me here" She looked down at her nails.

"That's not true. Billy always wants you here"

"Yeah whatever. Speaking of, where is my baby brother?"

"He's in the back with everybody else"

"Cool." She strutted back to the sliding glass doors and greeted everyone with a screech. Her encounter with Rachel had been less shocking than she expected. As she recalled Rebecca was the nastier of the twin sisters. Rachel had always been a little nicer to Bella, but not by much. They always teased her for preferring to hang out with Jacob instead of girls her age.

The bonfire was roaring and ready to go. Bella met up with Seth and Kim at the door. They were chatting as she moved to stand next to them.

"Hey Bella" they both smiled. The three of them walked towards the large ball of flames and sat around it. Jake was helping Jared pass around a few of the several dozen bottles. He looked engaged with the pack and she wasnt going to bother him to sit with her.

Bella sat down timidly between Kim and Leah. Although she had never really bonded with Kim or Leah, she felt better about being near girls for some reason. She liked the fact that they weren't drinking either and that she could relate to something they were conversing about.

"Hey Bella" Kim said nicely. "Do you have college plans?"

"Actually, no. I hadn't made up my mind before deadlines. I think now I am just going to wait until spring semester and start then."

"That's smart. I think I might take the year off and really think about things. Its been so hectic lately and I am really enjoying the relaxation of not having school" Kim dabbled. Bella really liked Kim. She seemed quiet at first, but when she got talking, she could keep going and going. She was a positive person who brought light to situations. She was a friend that Bella could use. Someone she could talk to and relate to.

She had lost most of her friends along her path to find herself. Edward, Jake and the Cullens had been her whole world. Angela was still around, but rarely available to talk. Everyone else had just drifted away; actually they had more like run away from the mindless shell that was Bella.

She knew that if she was going to start living, like she had promised herself, she needed friends. She needed healthy relationships. Kim would be one. Bella looked to her side and saw Leah thinking to herself. Her constant grimace was plastered on her face. It was a shame. Leah was beautiful and she didn't know it. Ever since Sam had imprinted she had given up on herself. She needed a friend, whether she chose to accept that or not.

Bella was going to take the plunge. She was going to be bold and talk to Leah. They had never gotten along, but the tension would have to end eventually. There was no reason for Leah to feel unwanted. So what if Sam had imprinted? That didn't mean that she had to be miserable around everyone.

Bella swallowed hard and spoke up. "How are you Leah?" The reaction she got was one of shock and confusion. Leah just gave a ruffled eyebrow lift. "I know we haven't been close and I think that should change" Bella was taking a huge risk, but she knew it was for the better. Deep down inside Leah knew this was good for her.

"I'm fine. How are you?" She was still tense, but less intimidating once she spoke.

"Not so well, but you already knew that." Bella tried to make a joke out of the current situation she had put herself in. It didn't go over well. Leah nodded and Kim gave a smile of sorrow. Although no one could relate to what was happening with her, they understood her grief. "I'm just complaining. I know I should be happy that I finally made a choice for myself."

"Good for you." Kim smiled sweetly. She stood and brushed the grass from her jeans "I am going to go get some food. Do you want anything?" She looked from Bella to Leah with raised eyebrows.

"No thank you." Bella responded. Her appetite had been less than usual. She was too stressed to keep down the food that she did eat so she just stopped. Leah just shook her head. Kim skipped off to the buffet sized table to stand next to Jared. They smiled at each other while Bella and Leah watched sadly.

Leah moved closer to Bella.

"Bella" Leah whispered. Bella turned to face her. They were extremely close now. Leah was staring into her eyes with intimidation. "I should probably hate you. You left Jake in the worst condition I have ever seen him in. Heartbroken didn't even begin to cover it, but you probably knew that. I never supported your decision to be with that leech…" Bella looked down at her feet. She didn't want her first attempt at friendship with Leah to be like this. "But, I think that you deserve more than the pack gives you." Was that a compliment? Bella cocked her head to the side and listened closer to what Leah was saying. "I just think that the pack blames you for everything that happens, and sometimes it is your fault, but they are a little harsh on you."

Bella smiled. Leah was making an honest effort to be friendly.

"Jake knew what he was getting into when he got involved with you and the Cullens. He is a real dumb ass if you ask me." Bella laughed a little. "Don't let them get to you. They want to make you feel bad about the newborn fight and Jake leaving, but it isn't all on you."

"Thanks Leah." Bella reached over and hugged her. Leah sat there very still. Bella noticed her stiffness and just squeezed tighter. When she let go, Leah raised her grimace to a soft smile.

"I never hated you, Bella. If you haven't noticed, I am the one the pack likes to pick on. You and I have a lot in common." Bella smiled even more. "But, I swear if you ditch Jake for the bloodsucker again, you can forget we ever had this talk. I will kill you" Bella just laughed and hugged her for the second time.

Leah stood and headed for the cooler by the table. She pulled out two beers and popped one open. She chugged the first one and then opened the second. She looked over to where Sam and Emily stood cuddling and sighed. She took a sip of the second beer and walked off into the distance. Bella watched this whole scene go on. Every one else was off doing their own thing. She noticed the little actions that no one else saw. She also noticed that no one understood Leah. She was so tormented and sad. They had no right to treat her the way they did. She didn't ask for this life and yet she felt obligated. Everyday she had to look at Sam and hide all the feelings that were building up inside of her.

Leah had been right. The two of them had a lot in common. Besides the obvious age and gender similarities, they had been through a lot emotionally. Bella felt connected to her more than she ever had. Leah needed a friend.

Bella made her way across the grass to stand next to Jacob. His big arms circled around her waist and pulled her in for a bear hug. She soaked up the warmth that he was filling her with.

"I saw you talking to Leah. She actually looked normal. What did you say to her?" Jake mumbled into her hair.

"She told me not to feel bad" Bella sighed.

"Only someone as sweet as you could get Leah to be friendly" He laughed.

"She was there all along. Someone just needed to give her a little push" She turned to face Jake. He was smiling down at her.

"I am so glad you are back Bells"

"Me too."

________________________________________________________________

A/N: Sorry I have been out of touch for a while. I didnt mean to get so behind. School was starting up again and I needed to get on the right track. Hopefully now I can get chapters up more frequently. I will try for every two days. Please dont get mad if I get behind. I know this chapter is a little slow and you are all waiting for Jacob and Bella to move forward. I promise I will get there. I also have another story in the works which I will post shortly. That one has a different take on things. Please review. I love getting the emails that tell me I have new comments. It makes my day to know that you guys like my story. I hope I can keep you all happy with the plot. I will update asap. Love you all. Thank you so much for reading.


	10. Chapter 10: Blinded By The Light

"Stop complaining. You lost fair and square." Embry chatted. He leaned down to brush the grass off of his jeans and stood to look at the whining boy in front of him.

"Best two out of three?" Seth complained. He had been tackled in the last play, summing up the scores to be 4-1.

"We shouldn't have to prove that we won, you guys just suck at playing. It's not our fault that we have the best linebacker and wide receiver," Quil shouted back. He had run an impressive play along with Jake as the most agile wide receiver and Leah with her powerful pass. She shook her head in agreement; she knew she was the best quarterback. She twisted herself until a loud crack rang from her backbone.

"I'm up for another game if you are" Leah added. She looked to her teammates "You ladies in?" She teased.

"Hell yeah. You're on" Jacob called back to the much-defeated Seth. Jared and Paul gave him skeptical looks. Collin went over to him and gave him an exhortation and a pat on the back.

"Well, Jake I hope you're ok with losing, cuz we're gonna cream your ass!" Paul called out.

"Bring it! You didn't score once, last game. What makes you think you can now?"

"Oh, I wouldn't exactly say that" Paul shot at glance over at Rachel who was sitting peacefully with the other girls ""Hey Rachel!" He shouted. "You look really sexy tonight" Rachel blushed and looked down. Paul then he turned back to Jake who was practically fuming. He wasn't taking the news of Paul's recent imprint on his sister very well. His arms were shaking as he took a step towards him. Paul whispered in Jake's ear "I scored with your sister". Paul didn't have a chance to step back before Jake lunged and brought him to the ground. The two boys were tumbling on the grass, throwing punches before Sam had to break them apart.

"Enough!" Sam shouted over them. He pulled Paul out from under Jacob's massive form. Paul flinched as Jacob shot another punch into his jaw. Quil finally stepped in to drag Jake away.

"Aw, Jake, jealous that I'm getting laid and you aren't? Or is it that no matter how hard you try you're never going to get the girl?" He wiggled an eyebrow and shot a glance over at Bella. Their conversation had been low enough, that her human ears couldn't hear it, but the pack picked up on every word. Jake was really shaking now. "Poor little Jake, always second best".

That did it. Jakes eyes glazed over with red as he was consumed with anger. Quil let go of Jake on purpose. Paul had crossed the line. In a second Jake had phased, sending his shreds of clothes flying in the air. Paul was running and Jake was chasing him. A moment later, Paul was phased too and they had made their way into the dense wall of trees. Snarling and ripping at each other, they tore through the forest.

Quil and Sam shot glances towards the moving forest. They took off in the direction Paul and Jake had gone. Bella sat in amazement as the scene unfolded in front of her.

"They'll be back in five minutes. As soon as they find new clothes and Sam pulls Jake off of Paul. You shouldn't worry" Leah sighed and took a big swig of her beer. She sat down next to Bella, still in shock, and offered her a drink. "This happens all the time. I guess its worse now, since Jake got back and Paul's ego got bigger"

"I wish he wasn't such an asshole sometimes. It makes it hard to put up with him" Rachel grunted, "He isn't like this when it's just us. He is actually kind of sweet"

"I'd pay money to see that" Jared laughed.

"What were they fighting about?" Bella whispered. All she knew was that Paul had leaned in and whispered something she couldn't hear. Then they had taken off. She had known Paul to lose his temper, but not Jake. He was usually so reserved around her. But then again, Paul had always tried to provoke everyone. She didn't blame him for attacking, but she just wished she knew why.

Leah and Jared looked at her and then at each other. They didn't really want to tell her what Paul had said. It would make her upset and embarrassed. She didn't need to know that Paul had served a low blow to Jake. From previous encounters with phasing, the pack knew exactly how much Bella had affected him. He had left because she hadn't chosen him and now to have her back was hard enough. The past should stay where it was. Bringing it up now would just cause problems. Bella could feel all eyes on her as the silence dragged on.

"Well?"

"Paul was just bragging about his conquests with Rachel. Jake is protective of the women is his life, as you probably know" Embry informed Bella. He made sure to look strongly into her eyes when he talked about Jake's women. She was one of them.

Bella knew they weren't telling her the whole truth. She would find out from Jake what had happened. She hated the idea of him fighting anyone, especially someone from his pack. They were supposed to be brothers, not opponents.

Soon enough, the four boys appeared at the door of the house, fully clothed again. Paul had three giant scratches along his legs and a gash on his arm that was already healing. Jake had gotten him pretty bad. Surprisingly, when they returned to the fire, Paul and Jake were smiling. Quil was laughing and retelling the epic tale of the fight and Sam was looking as stern as ever.

"Now that you have gotten that crap out of your system can we please get this game going" Seth whined.

"Fine" Jake said grabbing the football from the ground and tossing a perfect spiral to Embry. He didn't have a scratch on him.

The lines were set and the teams were drawn up. The pack was playing their third round of makeshift football. The yard wasn't big enough to accommodate for the size of the players and so the rules had to be changed. The girls watched along side the 'field' as the Quileute boys passed around the football.

Quil, Embry, Jacob, Brady and Leah made up one team. Sam, Jared, Paul, Collin and Seth made up the other.

It was dark enough to cause Bella's eyes to blur, but the boys had a perfect view. Jake could watch Bella from his place on the field. He could see the flicker of the fire light dance across her face as she watched from beside the fire.

Jake's team was in favor of winning the game. They had lucked out when dividing into teams. Although Jared, Sam, and Paul carried the strength and muscle for their team, they held no comparison to the raw power of Quil and Embry.

Paul had the ball, gliding past the players, when Jake spotted him. In an instant, they were on the ground as Jake tackled him. Quil caught the fumble and went for the 50-yard line. Paul grunted as he lifted himself from the ground and Quil reached home. He tossed the ball onto the ground. It bounced and flew off askew to the grass. He did a silly and entertaining touchdown dance, while the girls on the sidelines giggled. Embry joined him and together they shook their tail-free asses to the thumping rock music in the background.

Jared shoved Paul in the shoulder

"Nice going man. Now Jake is going to tease us forever. You should have watched your flank, he was right on your tail"

"Shut up. I knew he was there"

"Its called karma. You're an asshole to Jake and he takes you down" Rachel scolded him while rubbing his shoulders. He wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her into his chest. She giggled like a schoolgirl as he wrapped her up in his arms. He whispered something naughty into her ear and she blushed. "You better keep your thoughts to yourself. Jake wont hold back this time" She looked over to him and he nodded, holding back a gagging sound he was desperate to make.

"Yeah, and I wont pull him off of you either. Gross! Seriously, can you keep it clean, we have underage guests" Quil laughed and nodded over to Brady and Collin. Paul continued to nuzzle Rachel's neck and she cooed in response.

"Its not like we haven't seen it all in your head anyways. We'll just hear about it later" Collin commented. Every member of the pack had been subject to the inappropriate thoughts that raged on in each others minds. It couldn't be helped, that once and a while things would slip and then everyone would be able to see.

Rachel smacked Paul on the chest. "You better not be thinking about those things when you're phased". As if he had just been given an alpha command, he turned to Rachel and almost looked remorseful.

"I'm sorry, babe. I can't help it if some of my thoughts escape me, I just can't stop thinking about you" She smiled at that. It was true that she had complete control over him. He practically bowed down at her feet. She kissed him once on the lips and returned to the fire pit with him in tow.

The rest of the pack watched on in mock disgust. The mushy gushy love stuff did not interest them. Jared found his way over to Kim who was sitting patiently waiting for him.

Seth stood in front of Jacob. He held out his hand for him to shake.

"Good game. Although I still don't think it is fair that you got my butch sister to play the quarterback for _your_ team."

"Hey!" She shouted, taking offense to his butch comment. She threw her empty beer can at his head. He winced at it hit him on the forehead. Jake laughed a little and turned his attention to Bella.

She looked out of place sitting between two couples. Rachel and Paul canoodling to her right and Jared and Kim sweet-talking to her left. She mainly looked at her feet and drew circles in the sand with the toe of her sneakers.

"Bells." Jake called out

She looked up to find two smiling eyes staring at her. She smiled back.

"You want a soda?"

"Can you get me a Coke?"  
"Yup." He dunked his hand into the ice filled cooler and pulled out the last can. He thought briefly about tossing it to her, but then remembered how clumsy she was. How could he ever forget? She would certainly drop the can if he were to try and have her catch it, so he just ambled over to her instead.

When he caught her looking uncomfortable, he reached his hand out for her. She grabbed it and he pulled her up from the log. She stood awkwardly at his side. He handed her the soda and then pulled her onto the ground to sit with him. He propped himself up against the stack of extra firewood and motioned for her to join him.

She didn't think that they were on good enough terms to be as close as she wanted to be. Instead of leaning into him, like she did in the past, she sat up next to him. Only their arms touched, as they were pressed against each other. It wasn't as much contact as they had had before, but it was enough.

For right now, in this moment, they were both happy. It would be a while before they could bring back their normal behavior. It had never been this hard for them. It had never been forced. By leaving, they had both opted for this. Separation was inevitable. They could slowly climb back up the slippery slope that was their previous friendship. They could find each other again and all would be right.

Sam brought Emily back from the inside of the house. She was carrying two giant baking sheets covered in ribs.

"Who's hungry?" Emily smiled. It was a rhetorical question. Of coarse they were hungry. They were werewolves with enormous appetites. No amount of food could ever fully satisfy them.

"Jake can you open the barbeque for me. I need to put these on and then go back and grab the rest of the food," She asked politely. Jake hopped up and flicked a switch on the barbeque then lifted the lid. He grabbed the tray from Emily as Sam placed each rack of ribs on the grill. Embry helped him tend to the meat.

"Emily, do you want help with anything?" Bella offered, raising from her place on the ground and wiping the grass from her jeans.  
"I would love the help. Thank you" They went into the all too familiar house and collected in the kitchen. "So, Bella how are things?"

"Um, well I sort of had a heart to heart with Leah earlier. It was really strange but good at the same time."

"Really? That's nice. How about you and Jake? How are things going with him?"

"I don't really know. We haven't had a whole bunch of time together. I'm not sure if we are ok yet. I think things are still hard for us. We haven't talked about the stuff that happened and I know we are both dreading it."

"Things wont be the same until you talk about it. But they will be better. You and Jake are too good of friends to let this get between you. You just need to make the decision on how you want to continue"

"What do you mean? I know I need to talk to him but, what exactly am I deciding on?"

"The feelings you two have for each other aren't going away. I have been watching you both. You need to talk about your decision to leave the wedding, but you really need to figure out why you did that." Bella looked down at the floor again. To be honest, she hadn't put a decision behind her leaving. "You need to spend some time thinking about the real reason behind walking out." Bella nodded. Emily grabbed the roasted corn and massed potatoes from the counter.

"Emily?"

"Yes"

"What if I didn't just leave for myself? Do you think I left for Jake?"

"That's what you need to figure out." As if she had led Bella to the right conclusion, she tilted her head and smiled. She balanced the dishes in her hands and left the kitchen.

Bella made her way back to the yard. She saw Jake manning the grill, tongs in hand. She laughed to herself. He caught the sound of her voice in the air and turned towards her. A huge smile crossed his face.

She knew she left the wedding to have a life. She knew that she was thinking about her best friend as she drove to La Push. She knew the tears that she shed that night were for him. She loved him more than she knew at the time. Did the idea of marrying Edward scare her because she was losing the chance at a life? Or was it that she was scared that she had made the wrong decision? Was she running from the wedding to the wrong guy?

Had she missed it this whole time? This feeling she possessed at this moment in time, warmed her to the core and she loved it. It pulled her from the deepest depression and patched her up. It had healed her numerous times before. The love that she had never fully appreciated was right here with her. It stood before her and pulled her in. Every time before, she had turned her back on it. Foolishly, she had made the mistake of calling it unreal and a childish crush. She couldn't have been more wrong.

A tear ran down her face. She blinked to clear her eyes and saw that Jake was in front of her. She felt childish for crying so much when she couldn't dignify it.

Jake pulled her into his arms and smoothed her hair. She raised her chin to blink away the wetness in her eyes. She saw the deep and thoughtful brown eyes of her best friend piercing into her.

"Bells why are you crying?"

"Do you hate me?"

"No"

"You should. I was stupid not to have seen it before"

"See what?"

"That whole time you were telling me I was crazy and I just brushed you off. I am so sorry. I didn't realize it before."

"Bells, what are you talking about?"

"I love you…"


	11. Chapter 11

He moved forward nearly pressing his body to hers, but he stopped himself. His whole body just seemed to freeze. His breathing had become more labored as his heart sped up. All the adrenaline coursing through him was making him shake.

"Please tell me that you mean it, Bells. I don't think I could take another heartache." She gently brought her hand from around her and placed it on his forearm; the silver charm bracelet dangling from her wrist.

"I've been so out of touch lately. I didn't process what was going on around me until I was in the wedding dress." She began to explain. He tensed under her soft touch. "I practically died the day you left, Jake. I couldn't stand not seeing you and it tore me up inside. Somehow I managed to repress those feelings even though they were so strong. I was hiding behind other people and pretending that I wasn't upset." She nibbled on her lower lip as she considered how to go on. "I told myself that I couldn't get married because I needed to live and experience life. It was true, but I couldn't put all the pieces together. I ran to the only place I really wanted to be, and that was this house; your house. I got here and I broke down. You weren't coming home." A tear dribbled down her cheek but they made no movement to wipe it away. "Jake, I sat on your floor, in my wedding dress and cried! I couldn't do anything without you; I couldn't get married without you! I chose wrong, Jake and I am so sorry. I couldn't marry him. I just wanted to be with you." She fell forward into his arms, letting the tears fall freely now. They soaked his shirt as she pressed her cheek tightly against him.

He pulled her from his chest and set her in front of him, holding her around the waist so she didn't topple over. Her cheeks were wet and her eyes were red and puffy, but she was still the most breathtaking woman in his life. He lowered his lips to her cheeks and kissed each one; then he kissed the puffy circles under her eyes and finally each eyelid. When she sniffled he placed a kiss on the peak of her wet nose.

"Bells, there is nothing I want more than to hear you say those words." He brushed a strand of stray hair back behind her ear and continued. "I was beginning to think that I would never hear them. I thought I lost you."

"I am sorry I drove you away. I never meant to hurt you the way I did. I thought I had my mind made up. I am always making a mess of things." She turned away from his embrace and began to walk away. Just as fast as she had left, he was turning to follow her.

"I don't care. All that matters is that we love each other." He pulled her chin up so that he could look her in the eyes. " Bella, I love you more than words can say. I would give you the world if I could."

"I love you too, Jake. It just took me a while to figure it out." He smiled her smile and took her face in his hands again.

As her words sunk in, he gently pressed his lips against hers. They melded perfectly as if they were made for each other. The kiss was sweet and chaste, conveying the pure adoration he had for her. When she leaned in, the kiss intensified. His lips were warm and soft against hers. His heat was transferring to her body, warming the deepest corners of her. They pulled closer to embrace on another, possessing only one emotion: love. As he rubbed circles into her back she tangled her tiny fingers in his hair and the memories flooded back.

They started at childhood, the earliest memory either on of them had of meeting each other. They were 4 and 6, stumbling around this very yard they stood in now, covered from head to foot in mud. They grew older, hair lengthened, voices deepened and they both matured. At 11 and 13 they went fishing with Charlie and Billy, laughing the whole way, nearly falling in the water, and failing to get a single bite. It was silent for a while until the first memory of Bella's return. His smiling face as they reconnected. Her at prom and him dressed up. Meeting in the garage and drinking warm sodas. Taking long walks on the beach instead of tending to the textbooks strewn across the bedroom floor. Falling asleep on the couch after a movie marathon. Bon fires with the pack, cracking jokes and how easily she had become one of them. Giving her the charm bracelet and seeing her first thing in the morning. Both of their expressions when they finally saw each other again. How beautiful she looked in her wedding dress and how handsome he looked in the tux. Bella behind the firelight and Jake behind the grill.

Every image connected in a never ending vine of past, present, and future and each very much a part of them. Each image treasured and stored away in their minds forever. There were no other people around them, no sounds to distract them from this moment. Just Jake and Bells, wrapped up in the comforting and familiar, yet all new, embrace. They were finally where they belonged.

It took longer to break apart then it took them to get together. Eventually reality set back into motion. The voices of the pack, now lowered, were still audible. There were a few hoots and hollers from Quil and Embry. They no doubt had wanted this more than anyone. There were no secrets in the pack, but also no private conversations. No matter how quietly Bella or Jacob talked, the pack would hear every word.

Jacob was not ashamed. He wanted the whole world to know how he felt about her, and they practically all did. Any previous sign of depression from Jake had vanished. The once cold and motionless Jake that Embry and Quil found, was replaced with a stronger and more capable man. There were no limits to his bounds anymore. He had everything he needed right in front of him.

Needless to say, he wouldn't let go of Bella. It was his insides, telling him to hold on for dear life in case she vanished. They both had to reassure themselves that it wouldn't happen.

"Welcome to the family Bella." Emily graciously cheered with a red plastic cup in her hand. "To Bella and Jake, together at last" They toasted and cheered. It seemed a little cheesy, but it was the perfect sentiment.

"Yeah, finally. It took you long enough." Seth joked. Leah joined in

"I'm just glad its over. Now Jake can stop obsessing and get on with his life"

"Our life" He whispered deep into Bella's ear. The feel of his breath on her scalp sent shivers down her spine. She smiled and leaned backwards into his chest. He kept his arms wrapped around her waist.

"Oh, here comes the mushy stuff" Quil joked pulling Bella from Jake's arms. She was unwilling to go at first and he was less willing to let her go. Quil pulled her to the side and Embry was by his side ready to give her a hug. Quil picked her up in his arms and Embry wrapped himself around them both, for one big group hug.

"Cant breathe!" Bella gasped when her oxygen supply was running dangerously low.

"Sorry, I guess we are just a little excited to have you with us" Embry apologized.

"I have been here the whole time." Bella jutted back.

"But not really. You were still with Edward. This was your official enitiation!" He beamed.

"Well, thanks. Its nice to know that I am official"

"You always have been Bella. We were holding your seat for you." Quil explained and Bella giggled.

"Great. Does this mean that you are going to stop teasing me now?"

"Nope. As long as you are clumsy and human we are going to tease you"

"Darn. I was hoping that was just a test. I'm not sure if I can handle this forever"

"But its just so much fun. We might cut you some slack, seeing as that Jake will probably skin us alive if we do anything too naughty" Quil smiled. Bella sent a warning glance at Jake who just smiled back at her.

"We'll see." She said back to them.

They ate the festive summer meal by the campfire, laughing and telling stories about each other's childhoods. Bella particularly enjoyed the ones Embry told of Jake as a little boy impersonating SpiderMan. Jake backfired with ones about how Embry used to sing to Madonna songs in the rain. He was quite embarrassed by that one. Leah made sure to include her story about how Seth wet the bed until he was nine.

"Jake, I think we are going to head home. Bella, call me tomorrow and maybe we can get lunch" Emily sighed. She kissed Bella on the cheek and pulled Sam by the arm towards their car.

"Yeah. We are going to be out too. I am sure you two have a lot to catch up on" Rachel said as she raised herself from the log seat. Paul dragged on behind her and whispered something to Jake. Bella was too distracted to hear, but Jake let out a snort.

Slowly, one by one the guests left, leaving Bella to cleanup duty. She stacked the dirty plates up and threw them into the trash. Next she piled up all the trays and carried them into the kitchen. Jacob sat and watched her move in and out of the property with ease. It was as if she belonged there. Like she hadn't ever left.

She was in the kitchen rinsing off the silverware, when Jake snuck up behind her and pulled her away from the soapy water. "I am so glad you came to your senses" He nuzzled into her hair.

"Me too. And now I get to do all of your dirty dishes!" She laughed, full of sarcasm.

"You're very funny Ms. Swan."

"Why thank you Mr. Black." She said firmly. He brushed the hair away from her neck and placed a kiss at the first sight of skin. Then he placed another slightly higher up. Then another and another until he was placing kisses on the edge of her jaw. She sighed at his touch as he ran his fingers up and down her arm.

"I love you" He whispered in between kisses.

"I love you too." She whispered back. She turned so that she could face him. She wanted to kiss him. She realized how much she wanted to feel his lips on hers. "Kiss me." And he did. Long and full, he placed kisses on her mouth.

"Stay with me tonight." She paused at his words. "I just got you back, I don't think I could stand being away from you all night." She understood what he meant. There was a pull that he had on her. Ever since she told him she loved him, it seemed as though she wanted nothing more than to be in his arms. They would be inspereable now, like the dorky love sick couples they made fun of. But this was something more. They meant more to each other than that.

"Ok. I'll stay with you." She answered


	12. Chapter 12: The Call

The once bare and heartbreaking house was brought back to life. The moment Jacob and Bella made their way back into the shack like house, the warmth refilled it and the magnificence of it all returned. It just wasn't the same without both of them there. His home held no importance to him without her there in his arms and she couldn't feel at home in it unless he was holding her. Nothing was holding them back now.

Looking around at the simple mementoes of their time together brought back the dorky memories. Late night movies, homework study sessions, cooking thanksgiving dinners, sending their fathers off with good luck on their fishing trip, and the worst memory of goodbye.

So much had happened. In this small house and in less than a year, everything had changed. When Bella had come to him last January, he had never imagined they could face the crazy things they did. Vampire boyfriends, newborn battles, heartbreak, near drowning, engagement, running away, and falling back together. They did it all.

The last thing they wanted was to live in the past. Each event brought up harsh feelings and regret. For right now, they were content being together. The summer was half way through and soon reality would have to set in. At this moment in time, they stayed frozen, away from the world and focused only one being together.

Love rained through the house, covering the walls and lighting the rooms with an iridescent glow. The combination of Jacob's smile and Bella's blush made everything sparkle.

The two lay curled against each other, in a gesture that was comfortable and routine, but tonight it meant so much more. Tonight, this gesture meant everything he hoped it would all those months ago. He was finally able to have his love reciprocated and it felt perfect.

"I don't know how I lived without you all this time." Bella sighed into his chest. "It seems silly to think that I went without this for so long." She rubbed her hand across his chest, resting it on top of his heart and feeling it beat under her palm.

"Me neither, Bells. This couch isn't comfy without you in it." He laughed low and deep.

"I know what you mean. I could stay here forever in your arms."

"I agree." He paused for a moment, thinking carefully. "Bells, why did you all the sudden decide to tell me you love me?" He smiled remembering back a few short hours ago. She smiled too.

"Well, I saw you by the grill with the pack scattered around the yard and you looked all looked so happy. I guess I thought of how comfortable I was with you and the pack in this house, and it just clicked. I knew that I had to tell you. I wanted to be a part of this." She gestured around her.

"You are a part of this. This will always be your home." He rubbed light circles into her back and kissed her forehead.

"Deep down I knew that. I come here every time I am unsure about something. I knew you would be here to patch me up, like always. You're my sunshine Jake. I love you."

"I love you too, Bells. So friggin much. There is no way I can truly show you how much I care, but I want to spend the rest of my life trying." He pulled her up higher in his arms so that he could kiss her square on the lips. She sighed into his touch. He was sweet, gentle and shy on her lips, and she loved it. It was a sign of pure adoration. She knew that he loved her with every ounce he had.

She pulled herself up so that they were face-to-face. She moved her lips on his in a rhythmic motion while running her hands through his hair. Her tiny fingers pulled on his neck to that they could be closer, until she was completely on top of his body.

He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her down farther against his obvious hardness in his jeans. He grunted as she put extra force into moving her hips against his. She felt a tingle run up through her spine when her nub grazed against him. "This is nice" She sighed against his lips. The corners of his lips turned up.

"Yes, I am quite content with where you are right now." With the sweep of his arms, she was flipped under him. She hooked her fingers in the collar of his shirt and pulled his face down to hers to she could kiss him everywhere. She moved her lips against his, and then followed along his chin and down his neck. He leaned farther down onto her and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He grunted, rumbling a low growl in his chest.

"Bells, if you keep this up, I might not be able to stop myself,"She just giggled at him and grinded her hips upward.

She didn't need him to stop. She didn't want him to stop either. Everything he did made her want more and more. She wanted every piece of him that he could give her and she would give him everything she had. He was her whole world, the other half of her heart that she had lived without for so long. He made her feel safe and secure when she was in the worst conditions. He had the ability to make her experience emotions that were foreign to her, bringing out the side of her she never dreamed of.

"Then don't stop. I don't want you to." She looked up into his eyes. Even through the black of lust that glossed over his eyes, there was nothing but love and adoration for her.

"Are you sure?"

"I want everything with you Jake."

He reached his hand from under her and stroked her face. " I love you so much, Isabella Marie Swan. There is no one I would rather be here with." She smiled under his touch. The warmth from his hands, running all the way through her body, collecting in her toes. The happiness she was finally feeling, after the long debate with herself, was seeping through her. The glow could be seen on her cheeks as Jake smiled back at her.

Jake was nuzzling her hair, pressing her farther into the couch cushions. The strawberry scent he loved and missed so much when he was gone hadn't left her body. She turned her face into his neck so that she could place a gentle kiss there. Followed by another, and another. Without realizing it, she was massaging her fingers through his hair. He sighed at the kind feeling of her fingers on his scalp.

He shifted around her so that they were side-by-side. It was difficult because of the relative size of the couch, it being smaller than the two of them together. He held her against his body, close enough so that she could feel the hardness he was sporting once again. She smiled to herself. They kissed again, trying to pull closer and closer, when the space between them had already disappeared.

His hand was moving its way around her body, starting at her waist. He pulled it down her leg, caressing over her jeans pocket, massaging down her thigh. She moaned at the smooth rhythms he managed to make with his hand. Each movement was soothing and seductive in the same instance. He hooked his hand around the bend of her knee and pulled her body up over his until she was straddling his waist. With her hair falling down onto his face, she kissed him harder as she pressed against his waist. He grunted on her lips and pulled the small of her back so that they were closer. Her hands roamed his chest, feeling the strong and capable muscles beneath the cotton shirt. She wanted it off of him.

Her fingers found the corner hem of the shirt and began slipping it upwards. He didn't need to be told twice, for the shirt was on the floor in a second. The pure beauty of his body had always overwhelmed her. When she was with Edward, she had pushed her attraction for Jacob, far away. It was hard not to notice his bulging muscles or the way a shirt (when he wore one) hung over his abs. It was hardest when he sported his normal, just phased look, which drove her insane. The cutoff jeans or sweats that hung far too low, exposing the deep curve of his pelvis, seemed all too obvious around her. If it was raining, the water would drip from his shaggy hair and slid down his chest, over the golden skin she wanted to feel. How could she have not fallen for his irresistible charm before now? On one side, she felt good about wanted to be with Jacob for his mind and soul. She loved that he could be the best friend to her and how he could read her. It was comforting. On the other side, she found it hard to believe she never wanted to 'jump his bones' before now. Edward was nice to look at, but Jacob was pure sex all the time. His body eliciting the strongest emotions a teenage girl can possess: lust.

The sounds that were filling the room were shocking to her only because she hadn't realized they were coming from her. Grunts, moans, and sighs of pleasure as his hands and lips continue to roam her fully clothed body. Jacob was enjoying it as much as she was, if not more. He had waited his entire life for this, finally being able to be with Bella. Waiting this much longer for their intimacy only made the moment more special. All the previous walls that had blocked them from being together were all down now.

"Bells?" He was asking to continue, but he didn't need to. The assurance in her eyes should have been enough, but still he wanted to double check. He wanted this to be right for the both of them.

She lifted herself off of the couch and pulled him by the arm. He wrapped her up in his arms, hugging her close to his body. "I love you," she whispered in his ear. Just then, his head shot in the direction of the front door. Someone was coming.

She didn't want this to be happening now, at the one moment it seemed like they were finally getting peace. She looked hesitantly at him and his eyes spoke of apology. It was only ten seconds later that Paul and Jared came bustling through the front door. Normally Jake would be more than ready to kick their asses for bothering him at such an important time, but their expressions were of trouble. They meant business.

"What is it?" He asked solemnly, not letting go of Bella.

"Sam needs to see you now. There is some commotion on the treaty line." Paul answered, his voice strong and powerful. Jacob knew he had to be there, whether he wanted to leave Bella or not. Sam knew how important this night was to him and would only call for him if it was an emergency. On the other hand, if it was an emergency, was it safe for Bella to be here by herself. Jared noticed the thoughts playing across Jacob's face and interrupted.

"Seth is on his way over and he can take Bella to Emily's. I know you want to stay here Jake, but we really need to go." He pulled at Jake's shoulder, eliciting a low growl from him. "We'll be outside." They turned and left the house.

"I really wish you didn't have to go, but I know you have to."

"I hate this, Bells, but it's important. I'll come back and get you tonight. I'm not letting you out of my sight after this." She smiled and he kissed her another time on the lips. They pulled into a comforting hug, holding on a little longer before he pulled away. There was a sharp howl sounding through the distant wood, pulling Jake out of the blissful state he was in.

"Go." Bella playfully shoved him toward the door, hiding her instinctual fear. He bent down to kiss her again and was out the door in a matter of seconds. It took her a moment to let that howl set in. It wasn't good. The sound of panic and hesitation ran through it. It was a warning and a call for help. Sam never howled unless it was impertinent that the wolves be there.

Seth was only five minutes behind Jared and Paul, running in the door and stopping at Bella's side. They smiled at each other, clear that neither of them knew exactly what was going on. Seth would know soon enough, once he phased, what all the commotion was about. Bella knew that she couldn't disobey orders for the thousandth time and get in their way. Instead, she followed him to the car and they drove to Emily and Sam's warm home hidden in the trees. She was waiting on the porch when they pulled up.

Her scars shone brightly from the light coming out of the front window. She was wrapped up in a large jacket, which Bella assumed belonged to Sam. When Bella was out of the car, Seth nodded to them and ran into the dense forest, shedding his clothes and phasing.

"How do you stand this, Emily? Always watching him run off into the distance, while you sit here and wait. You don't know if he is going to get hurt or what is going on…"

"I have faith in the pack. They are strong, Bella. Sam has taught them well, and they work together which only makes them more powerful. Jacob is the strongest of them all. Of coarse it's hard to wait here for them, but he promises to come back. You just need to believe that they are the best at doing what they do. In the meantime, you can keep me company." She smiled, pulling Bella over to her with one arm. The two walked into the house together

Jake stripped his clothes and phased. The pack was almost complete, leaving out Seth, Collin, and Brady. From the images he was getting, the pack was near the treaty line. Sam was there with Jared and Paul. Quil and Embry were in the forest closer to Forks. No one was being clear on what was happening, but there were spread out in a defensive formation.

_What is going on? _

_The Cullens are freaking out. The doctor and his wife are trying to talk to Sam something about Edward. Apparently he's gone crazy and is ripping everything to shreds._ Quil answered.

_What for?_

_What do you think? Bella up and left him at his wedding and now the two of you are getting all cozy. I guess he found out and he scared them into thinking that he is gone attack._ Quil explained.

_That's why we're here. We have to make sure he doesn't leave the Cullen's property. He's on a crazed streak and we don't know what he's gonna do next._ Embry added.

_What exactly is he doing?_

_Turning the house upside down, throwing stuff around._ Quil explained.

Jacob was approaching the border. He could see Sam and Paul talking to the Cullens. He phased and pulled the shorts from he cord around his waist. When he was dressed, he approached the group.

"Sam, what's going on? Quil and Embry tried to fill me in."

"Jacob" Both Carlisle and Sam addressed him. Esme smiled warmly at him. Although the Cullens had wanted nothing more than to have Bella join the family, they still treated Jacob with respect and care.

"We didn't know what to do. Alice came home with Jasper after having another vision of Bella's future. She didn't have time to warn Edward before he read her mind and found out for himself. That's when he lost it. We tried to stop him but he wont listen to any of us. He just keeps pacing and throwing things. Everything was fine until Alice thought about her vision."

"What was her vision?" Jacob asked. Anything that could drive an overly poised man to hysterics, had to be pretty intense. There was a blur or white and two more vampire stood before them. Paul and Jared were getting antsy. They had spent the least amount of time around the Cullens, and still weren't comfortable being close. Jacob remained composed as Alice and Jasper answered his question.

"I had been watching Bella's future for a while. It was fading in and out as the wedding got closer," Jacob shuddered a little bit when he thought about how close he had come to almost losing her forever. "She was unhappy for months, even though she tried to hide it, I could tell she just wasn't herself. I knew she missed you, that's when I called Embry and Quil."

Jacob stood there shocked. She had known where he was and sent them there to find him. He wanted to hit Embry for not telling him and then scold Alice for doing that. He hadn't wanted to be found. He must have known that the Cullens had been interfering this whole time. There was no way they would have let Bella leave the wedding so easily if they hadn't. Alice was a schemer, but it didn't make sense how she could do that against her own brother. He almost wanted to hug her for indirectly making him go to the wedding.

When he looked to his left and right, he could see the shock on the other's faces as well. They hadn't known either. Jacob knew that Sam had not encouraged the search party for him. He would be even more furious when he found out that a vampire funded it.

"I know that it was wrong to put myself in your personal business, Jacob, but you weren't the one watching Bella cry at the sight of your empty place setting. She wasn't whole without you, and I was not about to let do something she wasn't strong enough for. I wanted you to be there so she could at least make a proper decision for once. I guess I didn't think all of this would happen." She stopped to sigh, a humanly gesture that seemed to rehearsed for someone who didn't need to breathe.

"So is that why Edward is so upset?" Jacob asked, pressing further.

"Not really. Of coarse he was mad at me for doing that. He thought that I was meddling and that it would just end badly. But, then he agreed with me, saying that it was all for Bella and her happiness. You're a huge part of her life, Jacob, even when neither of you realized it." She smiled at him. "So anyways, the wedding day was here and Bella's future was getting more and more cloudy. I could see what she was going to do, but only minutes before the big moment. I kept it from Edward and I let her go and find you. I knew she really loved you, when she was willing to leave the wedding even when there was no guarantee that you were coming back. She gave it all up and didn't know you were already here." This time he smiled.

"We were going to give Bella some time. We didn't want to pressure her into anything. At this point the family knew that you were here and that there was a huge possibility that Bella would choose you. It was a sad thought but we just want her to be happy. Edward was pretty broken up about it and he decided to go on a hunting trip. He seemed calm when Jasper and I left to hunt for ourselves. We were on our way back when Bella's future finally disappeared."

"What does that mean?" Sam asked. His voice showed his concern. If her future disappeared, did that mean another attack? Was something bad going to happen to Bella? Jacob was just as apprehensive and waited on his toes for Alice to continue. Instead Carlisle answered.

"We have had a threat from the Volturi, that they would come her to check up on Bella. They wanted her to be changed into one of us so that she would pose a threat to revealing our existence. We explained to her, that at the time we had made plans for her to change…" Jacobs growling had begun to make his body shake. "And recently Bella had been hesitant to this idea. The black future doesn't refer to that threat, for we would be able to see that coming. It is still a very likely possibility that they will show up."

"And if they do, we are willing to do everything in our power to keep her safe." Jasper added. Jacob found it interesting that the only times he had contributed to the conversation was when it involved battle tactics or fighting.

"But see Jacob, the blank future doesn't have to do with them. Its actually nothing bad, although it does pose a problem for Alice trying to keep an eye on her." Esme added sweetly.

"Alice, what does this mean for Bella? I still don't understand." Jacob responded honestly. "You are telling me about a threat from vampires regarding Bella, and then saying that you cant see her future."

"I can't see werewolves. My visions are always blocked when you are around. Like in the fight with the newborns, I couldn't see things as clearly because you were helping us. I can't see Bella's future because see is around you. She's made her decision and she wants to be with you."

He could really explain why he was smiling so big. Of coarse he knew that Bella had chosen him. She had announced it in front of everyone at the barbeque and said she loved him a million times. I suppose it didn't feel official until the psychic could tell him that they had a secure future together. The Cullens could see the relief washing over his face. Paul was getting annoyed and spoke up.

"So what, Edward freaked out when he saw and went crazy?"

"Yes. He was pacing around the room and then he started throwing stuff. I have never seen him act like this around anyone. He is always so levelheaded and composed. I didn't see him as the type of person to resort to violence." Esme turned into Carlisle's shoulder as he supportively rubbed her shoulder.

"Guess he finally cracked" Jared whispered to Paul. They exchanged glances.

Rose and Emmett are keeping an eye on him, but he was really mad when we left. He didn't know we were coming to meet you, but we felt that you were the right people to tell. If he does something stupid and leaves the house, in the mood that he is in, we didn't want you to be unprepared." Carlisle continued for his wife.

"Thanks for letting us know. It helps. For now all we can do is watch out. Maybe you can try and talk to him, get him to calm down. You don't think he would come after Bella would he?" Sam bellowed.

"He could ever hurt her." Alice added sweetly.

There was another flash of grey. In the trees there was a snapping sound and then Leah came running out to Sam's side. Her disgust was apparent in her crinkled nose and blunt expression.

"Vamps." She acknowledged the Cullens standing in front of her. "We have a little problem. He's gone."

_______________________________________________________

A/N: Hey guys sorry for the massive break period. I know how frustrating it is to wait for another chapter of something. I promise I havent forgotten. I hope you all liked this. I was trying to make up for the long wait by giving you a little extra length this time. Let me know what you think. Review :)

I wont make you wait this long for another chapter, especially since I left it with a cliffhanger. I wanted to get some of your ideas thought. What do you think should happen next, or just at some point in the rest of the story? I would adore your input. Any ideas are welcome no matter how wacky or lemony... I am up for it all. Also on that point, I promise they will get there. It would be mean to deprive you of well deserved lemons.

I love you all so much and hope that this story makes you as happy as it does me. I'll update soon.


	13. Chapter 13: One Moments Peace, Please?

_..."We have a problem. He's gone."_

"What do you mean he's gone?" Jacob's voice bellowed.

Couldn't the world give him a moments peace with Bella? It seemed like every time things were getting good, the bloodsuckers found a way to intervene—trampling over the possibility that he and Bella would ever be alone. One distraction after another and she was still patient. He would have to be too if he wanted to keep her with him. Being a werewolf was not an easy job--it being so demanding of time and effort. It made him wonder how Sam managed a perfect relationship with Emily, even when he spent nearly all his time with the pack on patrols..._stupid imprinting!_

"Don't bite my head off, I am only the messenger." Leah barked.

"Just tell us what happened, Lee." Sam breathed.

Leah snapped her head up to meet his eyes, his head turning down after using the famous nickname he had given her while they were dating. She despised the way he could still call her that, especially in front of the pack. She gave him a dirty look, making him feel shame for slipping up, and turned blatantly to Jacob and spoke.

"I was on my way over to do patrols and I was running by the Cullen's place. I was minding my own business of course, but then that stupid leech had to run straight into me!" Leah turned her chin up in annoyance. "The blonde chick wasn't watching where she was going and slammed straight into me, then had the nerve to ask _me_ where I was going!"

"Can you please get to the point?" Jacob demanded, eager to know why the hell Edward was running around unsupervised.

"Ok so anyways, I ran into straight into the leech--"

"Rosalie." Alice corrected.

"Whatever. I ran into Rosalie and she said that she was after Edward. I thought she was crazy but then she explained to me that he and Emmett got into this big argument and Edward stormed off." She paused, recollecting her thoughts. "She mentioned something about a blank future and Edward throwing some punches. Emmett took off in one direction and Rosalie in the other. They politely asked if I could fill you in."

Esme turned into Carlisles shoulder as he wrapped a protective arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

"Oh and apparently he smashed the piano. Said he couldn't stand to think about how much it meant to 'them' but I wasn't sure what that meant. Maybe that means something to you." Leah grumbled turning away and standing next to Paul and Jared.

"Yes. Edward played music for Bella on that piano. She was his muse for composition. He even wrote her lullaby on that. It only makes sense that he would want to rid himself of the things that remind him of her." Alice recalled, explaining to the pack, who were clearly clueless and uninterested in what she was talking about.

"I don't understand is always so levelheaded and cautious. This just isn't like him." Carlisle isleclosed, shaking his head in astonishment. "He would never just take off like that and especially after fighting off his brothers."

"So does this mean he is considered a threat to us? He doesn't sound safe." Embry inquired, speaking from behind Jacob's back.

"We have never had to worry about Edward's temper. This is a first for all of us. I still don't believe that he would harm any of you." Carlisle continued.

"But we don't even know where he is, let alone what he is thinking." Leah sniped.

"Why didn't she see anything?" Paul accused, pointing to Alice, who stood looking guilty and confused.

"I can't see anything because you are all here. I can't be expected to watch everyone all the time. Edward is good at keeping his thoughts to himself. Even if he were thinking clearly, I would still have a hard time envisioning anything with all of you werewolves around." She rubbed her forehead and Jasper reached a hand around to massage her temples, as if she had a simple headache.

"Can't you at least tell if he is dangerous or not?" Jacob demanded, fearing only for Bella's safety. His decision to leave her with Emily and no other form of protection, was now seeming like a foolish idea.

"I will need to get away from all of you first. If I can get far enough away where your presence doesn't affect my sight, then I will be able to tell you. Carlisle what do you think we should do until then?"

"Esme and I will go back to the house and see if he is still nearby. Alice, you and Jasper should go somewhere you can think. I will confer with Rosalie and Emmett."

"And what are we supposed to do? If he crosses the treaty line, we have an obligation to uphold. The safety of our people comes first." Sam recited, his deep voice commanding the attention of the crowd.

"We understand. You protect your people and we will handle Edward."

"Do we tell Bella?" Jacob queried. If she knew that Edward was on the loose and hurting, because of her, would she run back to him? There was no way that she wouldn't want to comfort him if she knew the reason behind his flare up.

"We wouldn't want her to feel obligated to us in any way. She shouldn't be worried. Let's not upset her until we know what is really going on." Esme cautioned in a true motherly fashion. She wrapped her arm around Carlisle's and began to pull him away in the direction of their house.

"Sam, we will contact you when we know more. Don't stress too much about this, but please let us know if you get in contact with Edward."

Sam bowed his head at the request. Carlisle made a movement to return home, then stopped and faced Jacob, looking him directly in the eye.

"Jacob, can you please communicate with Bella and tell her that we don't want her to feel pressured for an explanation. All we want is her happiness and it looks as though she has found it with you." Carlisle smiled, his words genuine and heartfelt.

Jacob nodded "I will do my best."

"We will be in touch. The treaty still upholds and we will honor it just as you have showed great respect to our family." Carlisle took Sam's large, russet hand in his pale, cold, bony one and they shook--like gentlemen who settled on a compromise--even though nothing had truly been resolved. Edward was still missing, Alice could no longer see his or Bella's future, once again the threat of the Volturi was present, and Bella had yet to confront the Cullens about the wedding.

"Jasper, Alice, go as far as you need to and call us when you get sign of something. Esme and I will return home." They exchanged the plan between them, whispering in tones inaudible to the human sensed, but loud enough for the trained ears of a werewolf.

In a flash they were gone, leaving the dust to settle back on the ground where they had been previously. The pack stood still and firm until the scent of the Cullens had traveled away with the wind. Leah was the first to speak, resting her hand on her hip and rolling her eyes.

"Drama, drama, drama. Seriously, what's it going to be next week?" She asked rhetorically. She glided around the other members of the pack, moving fluidly through their bundle until she was standing a few feet from the line of trees. "Well, anyways, I'm going back to patrol."

She walked back towards the trees and stopped when Seth came bustling out. "What happened? I was just at the Cullens and they were freaking out 'cause Edward--"

"We know." They sounded in unison. "

You just missed them. Edward had a freak out." Leah explained, yawning the words as she moved farther back into the shadows. "See you at breakfast little bro. You're taking over my shift." And with that she was gone. There was a ripping sound and it was followed with the steady rhythm of her paws hitting the cold, wet earth.

"Well, that was interesting...and a total waste of my time. I'm going back home." Jared professed. Sam stopped him before he could move.

"I want you to run normal patrols and keep an extra eye on the territory line and the Cullen's place. We shouldn't change around our schedule until we find out what Edward is doing."

"Why should we care? He's probably half way to China by now. Why would he stick around if the love of his life has already moved on? I wouldn't." Paul pointed out, making sure to look Jacob straight in the eyes as if to say _'I'm surprised you stayed as long as you did'_.

"If I were him I would get out of town. I'm just surprised he didn't ditch right after the wedding. That would make the most sense." Quil added.

"Whatever the reason, we still need to focus. Seth take over for Leah, Jacob for Seth, Jared for Jacob, and Paul for Jared. Quil and Embry, you two can take the night off, but I expect you to patrol in the morning. Emily is cooking breakfast, you're all welcome of course. She has invited all the girls over so be respectful." Sam specified, turning to Quil and Paul at his last statement.

"What are you talking about? We are always respectful." Quil laughed, holding three fingers in front of him. "Scouts honor."

"I'll see you all in the morning." Sam walked into the trees and returned with four paws, claws, and a thick black pelt. The hairs on his back lay flat with ease as he paced away slowly, bowing his head once to address the crowd, then trotting away. Everyone knew where his wolf was headed, straight to Emily. Nothing could keep them apart longer than eight hours, otherwise his usually calm and reserved thoughts, would turn into a non-stop slideshow of Emily. Every touch, kiss, caress... each time he came home and she smiled warmly at him... when he proposed and then how she said yes...

It was normal for the pack's unified mind to be filled with thoughts of the women in their lives and for each thought to be unique in its own sense. Each guy thought of love in a different way, some more graphic than others. While the memories and praises of imprinting rained through their minds, anyone would be able to see that Jake's pure love for Bella could easily compete. He didn't need a legendary soul mate to be chosen for him by an apocalyptic force; he had found what he was looking for 7 years ago in his kitchen.

_It was a particularly cold day in Forks, the Christmas that Bella came to visit her father, the Chief of Police. She was bundled from head to toe in newly purchased winter clothes. A pink parka, matching scarf and gloves, a hat, and earmuffs were all attached to Bella as she exited the cruiser, whilst holding Charlie's hand. She shivered when the breeze flew by her, nearly knocking her off of her feet--the tightly packed clothing acting as an anchor. When the front porch came into sight, and the crackling fireplace could be seen from the front window, Bella dropped his hand and sprinted for the door. She didn't slow down at the stairs to the porch and stumbled on her own feet, picking herself up and continuing to the door. She threw her body into the weight of the door in order to get it open on her own; the heat swirling around her when she stepped into the small house. _

_Jacob was only seven at the time, and had busied himself with a remote control truck in the living room. He was seeing how many times he could ram his sisters foot before she would turn around and smack him. It only took 3 tries. Rachel and Rebecca were a year older than Bella, standing around their mother, pestering her with questions about Santa. It was Christmas Eve and the scent in the air tasted of cinnamon and nutmeg from Sarah Black's famous apple pie. _

_Thole family turned to look at the little girl standing in the doorway, with cheeks as pink as cotton candy, shivering from the cold. She was practically chattering from the wind chill. Her home in Phoenix with her mother was always sunny and never below a comfortable 60 degrees--even though she was unable to successfully tan or freckle, her skin remaining pale as a ghost._

_"Welcome Bella." Sarah cheered, dropping her mixing spoon into the sink, wiping her hands on her apron and coming forward to meet her. Bella simply nodded at her greeting and ran up to meet her in a hug, filled with warmth and love. Sarah Black was the kindest and most generous mother anyone had ever known. Her smile could brighten the cloudiest of days and her beauty was unsurpassable. She had deep and rich chocolate brown eyes, framed in almond lids and laced with thick, black lashes. She had gentle, tanned cheekbones that led down to a pair of raspberry lips that gave the best kisses. Her hair flowed in loose waves down to her waist, thick and full, but soft like angora. It was no surprise that her children were equally beautiful. Billy had won a price when he managed to capture her heart._

_Charlie followed her in, ambling through the doorway and letting nearly all the warm air out. Bella glared at him as the cold continued to waft through the room. Charlie took the hint and closed the door behind him, walking over to Billy to greet him with a friendly hug. "Hey Billy, Merry Christmas...Eve." _

_"We are so glad that Bella could join us this year. Jacob sure missed her." Sarah smiled. A small blush sneaked over Jacob's cheeks but he refused to look up from his intent staring at the floor. Bella was released from her hug with Jacob's mother, stepping back and taking in the smells from the kitchen. Sarah followed Bella's gaze to the oven door. "I'm baking a pie, apple and cinnamon." _

_"Yum." Bella squeaked. She turned to look at Rachel and Rebecca who were dressed identically in red dresses, which accentuated the rich color of their skin. "Hi." Bella waved. The girls smiled back and turned their attention back to their mother, who was working on their dinner. _

_Billy and Charlie were engaged in a conversation already, leaving Bella and Jacob to their silence. He slowly looked up from the floor to catch Bella's eye. He couldn't help the butterflies in his stomach when she smiled genuinely at him, then moved to come and sit by him. She shed the bulkiest pieces of her wardrobe and set them on a chair, then squatted on the floor next to her childhood best friend. _

_"Hi Bella." Jake murmured, nervous and fidgety. Even for a ten year old, his behavior could be described as timid, which was anything but his natural personality. He was usually vivacious and outgoing. There was something about Bella that made him drop his remote and turn to her. _

_"Happy Christmas Eve." She sighed. "What did you ask for?" _

_Thank goodness she was the one to talk. Normally she was the one at a loss for words, but something about Jacob brought the adventurer out of her. He went on a tangent about everything he wanted to get from Santa, complaining about how girly his sisters were, and what his best friends Quil and Embry were like. She enjoyed listening to him talk, not just because everyone else ignored her, but because he could make her laugh and smile. _

_The adults let the two of them sit in their own little bubble until dinner when they had to join everyone at the table. Seated next to each other and still talking about inconsequential subject, Jacob and Bella looked down at their plate with unamused faces. She glanced at the asparagus on her plate and he pursed and the cauliflower, neither one of them planning on eating the vegetables. With one quick glance at one another, they came to a mutual agreement: they would switch. _

_As the adults talked on and on, Bella and Jacob developed a sneaky way to exchange the vegetables. Since she hated asparagus and he was impartial to cauliflower, they made a deal to trade so that neither one would be scolded for not eating their vegetables. While his mother or her father were looking away, they would gather one piece on the tip of the fork and then casually trade under the table, Jacob taking her fork of asparagus and Bella picking up the fork with cauliflower. This continued until there were none left on the plates and their parents smiled in satisfaction. The plan had worked out perfectly. _

_When dinner was over and the pie was set to cool on the counter, the kids ran to the tree, in hopes that they would be allowed to open one gift the night before Christmas. As soft as Billy and Charlie were, their request was granted and the three Black children all scrambled to pick out the most intruigingly wrapped presents. Bella stood by the couch watching them shred the wrapping paper while she watched silently. _

_"Bella, we have a gift for you if you would like to open it." Sarah spoke calmly from behind Bella's back, holding the red box in her other hand. Bella turned around and carefully took the parcel from her hands and held it in front of her, as if looking for permission._

_"Go ahead sweetie. I have others for you back at home." Charlie nodded to her. _

_Bella took that as the starting fire and peeled back the red wrapping paper carefully so as not to damage the gift inside. When she had uncovered the gift, she pulled it from the paper and held it up. It was a leather bound diary. It was beautiful, with Quileute inscriptions and tribal designs on the front cover. _

_"Charlie tells us that you are quiet the writer. We thought you could use this to write about your dreams and wishes." Billy explained. _

_Bella opened the book and noticed that the first page was a title page that read 'Bella's Diary' and there was a note at the bottom, 'Take a little piece of La Push back home with you and remember us when you write in it'. Sarah had obviously written it; her handwriting was a combination between cursive and print and was very neat. Below the note Billy, Sarah, Rachel, Rebecca, and Jacob had all signed it with love--Jacob's handwriting was the most illegible, but it was also written the biggest._

_Bella smiled the biggest smile she could and ran over to give Sarah and Billy a big hug. Even then, at age 11 1/2, she was able to understand the love behind the gift. Rachel and Rebecca gave her a hug next and then it was Jacob's turn. He was standing by the fireplace holding his new pair of Rollerblades--an accident waiting to happen, giving a boy with that much energy, the tools to create a one man stunt show--when she made her way over to him. They stood and looked at each other for a minute, not sure what to do._

_"Bella, Jacob, you're under the missletoe!" Charlie beamed, gazing at the two of them, with their eyes as big as saucers. _

_The two of them did not know how to react or even how to respond to such an absurd request to kiss each other. Girls were gross and boys had cooties, why would they kiss each other? Bella looked to her father questionably, then leaned forward. Jacob swallowed and leaned in as well, closing the distance between them. Their lips touched for a split second before they both pulled away, craning their necks back to stare at each other. That wasn't so bad, they seemed to think in unison. Jacob broke out in a smile first and then Bella. _

_It was official, his affliction had begun the instant he realized girls were no longer a problem._

***

"Pass me the shortening, will you?" Emily asked politely. She was almost completely covered in flower, some flecks in her hair, and yet she was still so beautiful. Bella reached over the island to pull the blue tin towards her to give to Emily. "Thank you."

"I'm almost done cutting up these strawberries. Should I put them in this bowl?" Bella inquired, holding up the medium sized glass bowl in front of her. Her red fingers, resulted from cutting dozens of strawberries, bled down the side of the bowl. She retrieved a kitchen towel from the oven door handle and wiped the red glaze off.

"Yeah, that's great. Get the sugar and Grand Marnier, then mix those all together. We are going to pour that on top of the shortcakes." Emily smiled, rolling the shortbread dough onto the flower coated marble slab.

"It sounds delicious!" Bella added. "It's nice to cook with someone. It's always so quiet when I am making food for Charlie. He just sits in front of the TV."

"Same here. It's nice to have another girl! Imagine cooking in this kitchen while having seven or more boys running around and chatting up a storm, while never really acknowledging me..."

"I see your point. Maybe we can make this a regular thing. I hate thinking that you have to do this all the time, by yourself. I want to help." She sighed.

"I would love that, Bella!" Emily placed the rolling pin down, wiped her hands on the apron, and circled the island to hug Bella, transferring flower with her. Emily wrapped her arms tightly around Bella's shoulders, pulling her farther into the embrace. "I am so glad you decided to stick around. I would have no one to do these girly things with." She giggled. They smiled at each other and then went back to work.

"I have been trying to cook my way through my grandmother's recipe box. It's a beaten up old thing, but it has some fabulous things in it. All kinds of dishes and desserts were collected in the family and my grandmother wrote them on these faded cards. Bless her soul she wrote neatly, but its still hard to know if I am doing them correctly because its hard to read." She huffed, putting the tray of cut shortcakes into the open and placing her hands on her hips with a sigh.

Bella was whipping the cream for the topping, moving the hand mixer in slow, circular motions. "Is this one of the recipes from the box?"

"No. This is one of my own that I adapted from a cooking show. It's something I make when I need a girl's night--like tonight. I already pulled out some movies. I didn't know how long the boys will be, but I was hoping you would want to stay and watch it anyways."

"Of coarse I would. That sounds great." The whipped cream was done and the strawberries were macerating. They tidied up the kitchen, sweeping away the flower and washing the dishes, until the timer went off. When Emily pulled the pan out of the oven, holding it with her oven mits and her hair tied back, she looked like the perfect housewife. She was; always caring for those around her, making sure the cooking and the cleaning was done, and pulling delicious baked goods from the oven, around the clock. Bella couldn't possibly understand how she could do all that for the entire pack, when she herself could manage only Charlie. _One day I will learn her trade_, Bella vowed to herself.

They assembled the strawberry shortcakes and plopped down on the couch to enjoy the romantic flick The Notebook. It was a tear-jerker, the best kind for girls with dessert, and it moved them to no end. No matter how many times Bella watched the film, she always cried at the same points in the story. She had read the book, and cried for that too, but something about the onscreen connection between Noah and Allie made the drama so much more real.

By the end of the movie, Bella and Emily were hopelessly tangled in one another. Bella was clutching Emily's hand, Emily's legs were sprawled across Bella's lap, and Bella's head was rested on Emily's shoulder. If stepping back and observing the scene, one would guess that Bella and Emily had been friends since childhood, each girl comfortable with the other enough to cry and share their most intimate secrets with one another. In actuality, these girls had been thrust together by the coincidence that they were in love with the two alpha males of a werewolf pack. Had they not met haphazardly through twisted fate, tribal genes and the existence of vampires, these girls would probably never have become friends. Even at the beginning, when they had first been introduced, Bella being the vampire girl and Emily the wolf girl, they were hesitant to mingle. If they were any other two girls, they would have remained acquaintances with mutual friends, but Bella and Emily were not normal girls. They were compassionate and caring and this is what ultimately brought them together, and not their boyfriends.

***

Jacob had caught up to Sam, and run the perimeter with him, instead of taking over Seth's shift in the middle of the night. This put the two of them at home at the same time. Jacob thought this solution would be the most convenient, considering the loves of their lives were together under the same roof. It also made sense to have the two most powerful of the wolves to patrol right after the Edward 'catastophe', since Jacob's energy would be the highest then. They hadn't caught wind of anything, which was good and bad. Good because it meant there was no need to alarm anyone, but bad because it meant at any moment something could happen and ruin everything.

His impatience nearly drove Sam to the edge, testing his reserve and patients. Jacob's thoughts were filled with everything that was Bella; her scent, the feel of her skin, the way the sun hit her face, the soft coo of her voice, every curve and every hair that he could memorize. It all swirled around in his head, like a lilac haze or warmth in a cold room. Sam was befuddled by the complex adoration that came from Jacob. His undeniable connection with Bella and his devotion to only her resembled too much of his own experience with imprinting. It made him judge both the good and the bad that could come from imprinting, if it were to happen to Jacob. On one hand, Jacob's feelings for Bella were so strong, that one might conclude that he had in fact imprinted, though that was not the case. If his love for her was that strong, it was possible that he could fight the pull an imprint would have on him, or maybe he would never need to in the first place. It seemed like he had found the one he wanted to be with. On the other hand, if his feelings for Bella were this intense, the imprint could come on more strongly than ever before to try and conquer his love for Bella. If this happened, there would be no telling how their relationship would be able to endure a power like that. They would both be hurt more than Sam and Leah had been in their own experience with imprinting, and that said a lot.

Sam's feelings for Bella had been clouded for most of the time he had known her. In the early days, she was merely Chief Charlie Swan's daughter; a white girl from Forks who was family friends with the Blacks. Things changed the day he found her in the woods and carried her back, in her catatonic state, back to Charlie after the Cullens left town. He could see the pain that she had faced though that devastating blow and held respect that she was able to attempt to move on. Being with Jacob made her come back as a stronger person and it helped both of them grow emotionally. All the problems started when Jacob phased, bringing a whole new set of conflicts with him. He was the rightful alpha, he was Bella's best friend, and he was also completely infatuated with her despite not imprinting on her. It was impossible to keep them apart, Jacob alone figured out a way to let her into their world and fought to make her one of them. Sam couldn't deny her that, although he worried how this would affect them all.

It was a changing point in his mind when the Cullens came back and Bella immediately ran back to them, dropping Jacob like an old toy. It was hard for Sam to watch Jacob suffer more and more as Bella and Edward got closer and closer. Fighting the newborns was easy, although no one wanted to hear what Jacob had on his mind in regards to Bella or her engagement. It was like watching a train wreck and not being able to stop it. His pain only grew worse until his physical pain allowed him a distraction. Then he left. Sam was infuriated but justified the action.

Ever since Bella had been back and had admitted to her wrongdoings, told Jake how she felt, and apologized for her actions, Sam's feelings had only softened a little bit. It was hard to get past the thoughts of Jake in his stupor, crying over Bella and wondering what more he could have done. Sam could not easily forgive the girl who did that to his pack member.

Jake didn't need to know any of this. He was happy enough just to have her back with him and to hear those three words he was aching for. She loved him and for now, that was enough.

They approached the house, phased and put their clothes back on. It was very late, or early for some, and most of the lights in the house were off. There was a faint glow from the television that hadn't been turned off, which kept the house illuminated. Sam and Jacob ascended the stairs and quietly opened the door. Their strong and brave faces were immediately softened at the sight of the two angels on the couch. They were fast asleep, still tangled, and covered with a large wool blanket. They were calm and peaceful in their dream state. Neither Jacob nor Sam made a movement to wake them.

As Sam moved into the kitchen, Emily's eyes fluttered open, and she smiled when she met the gaze of her lover. She whispered a 'hello' so as not to wake up Bella. Jake watched from the corner as Emily tried to move slightly so she could get up. Jake took the opportunity to take her place as she got up, sliding into the pocket of heat that her body, along with Bella's had made.

"Jake, she can spend the night. I know Charlie would hate it if you brought her in at three in the morning. The guest bedroom is already set up." She whispered to him while moving closer to Sam.

"Ok, thanks Em."

Sam nodded as Jake lifted Bella effortlessly from the couch and wrapped her up in his arms. She stirred a little bit at the movement and her eyes twinkled open.

"Jake." She smiled, turning her head into his chest.

"Hey Bells. I am going to put you in the guest bedroom so you can get some sleep."

"Ok. What happened tonight?" She murmured, her voice raspy from exhaustion and crying.

"Nothing you need to worry about. Just try and go back to sleep." He kissed her forehead as he layed her down on the bed.

"Will you stay? At least until I fall asleep? I really missed you tonight." She pleaded. It was impossibly hard for him to say no, so it was a good thing he didn't want to.

He scooted her to the side and placed himself next to her. She instantly curled up in his chest, placing on arm on his shoulder and the other over his heart. It was beating just for her.

"Try and get some sleep, Bells. I love you."

"I love you too, Jake." She mumbled.

It was effortless to fall asleep next to each other, him and her tangled up a love deeper than either one knew. For now they were content to be together and to have the next day ahead of them, inviting the world to challenge their love. In this moment, nothing could break their hold on one another.

* * *

A/N: I am so sorry that took forever. Even though it took a long time to publish, it _is_ the longest chapter for this story so far and I hope more will be like this one. I will try not to go that long without updating again. I vowed that I would only write when I felt inspired for a chapter, so the past few days I have been writing this for you guys. The end is a little cheesy but I _personally _love the childhood flashback. I was thinking that I could start to incorporate those into the chapters as needed. I hoped you liked the Emily/Bella bonding because I am writing more of that in the future. For those of you wondering about Edward, he will come back and there will be drama. Let me know what you think and feel free to review or send me a message--I love those too. If I get good responses to the chapter, I will be able to write another one faster but I need to know what you think so I know how to proceed.

Love you all so much. Thank you for believing in my story.


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